Originally Posted by Nemo1980
...Are we allowed to say his ideas are not okay?
IMO, yes - very judiciously. Assuming she's capable of maintaining a B average, then it's in her best interest to be encouraged to do so. If her dad chooses to do something as selfish and short-sighted as to discourage her from working in school, in hopes she'll view him as the "cooler" parent, then it's his
fault - not yours - if you tell your daughter what's wrong with his position.
On lesser things - where it's more of a difference in personalities and parenting styles - it's better to bite your tongue about her father. She will always have in her mind that he is part of her, so criticizing him more than necessary can tear at her
self-esteem, even though that's the last thing you intend.
For example, someone (I though it was you?) commented on my post about spring break, describing how her ex insisted their daughter fly out to visit him as soon as school ended and not return until right before it resumed. With my husband being the custodial parent of a teen with an out-of-state mother, I get the frustration! Perhaps it is
better, more considerate parenting to want to give a kid one night of fun with her friends on break, before she has to fly out of state; and to want her home in time to rest up before school. And if you have the power to choose her flights, maybe you must insist on the ones you think are best. But as far as addressing her father's opinions, it's best to say, "He must miss you and want every minute he can get with you. I don't blame him! You're a great kid."