Adult step-children not invited to wedding. - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 3 Old 08-18-2020, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Adult step-children not invited to wedding.

Bit of a back story here. I have known my current DH and his family since I was 16. I went to highschool with the two youngest (the only daughter was my BFF - her children and my two older children from my first marriage have known each other since they were all babies). After my first marriage ended, I wound up dating, and then marrying, the eldest son from this family, my older children were 6 and 8 at the time. We have been married for 14 years, and have a 13 yr old son.
Recently, the youngest brother in this family (who I went to school with) announced his wedding. The wedding invite we got said me, DH, and youngest son. So, I emailed and asked if older children (who are in early 20s and have known this family all their lives) were invited. They said no, due to space and covid distancing, there was only so much room.
I'm trying to be cool with this. I really am. I understand why. And I understand that it's their decision who they invite. But I still feel hurt, and although my two older children are adults, I'm not looking forward to telling them they aren't invited to their step-uncle's wedding but their younger brother (well, half brother) is invited. Kinda considering telling the youngest boy he's not going either (I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care, he hates going places, and doesn't like group gatherings much). Would that seem passive-aggressive? Any suggestions on how I can suck it up and move on?
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#2 of 3 Old 08-18-2020, 04:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update: Please note, I won't actually do that to my youngest son (telling him he can't go if his older brother and sister can't go). I was hurting when I initially started this thread, and I wouldn't punish him for something that isn't his fault.
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#3 of 3 Old 08-26-2020, 12:35 PM
 
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Well numbers are a real thing. I would see if your 13 year old wanted to go, if not see if the brother would be ok with your replacing your son with one of your older children that really does want to go.
I have a family member that is planning a wedding and their reception venue that they have had booked for almost a year, recently told them that they have to cut down their numbers from almost 300 to 50 people. Suddenly no one is allowed to bring any children, no one is allowed to bring a plus 1. Only married couples will be invited, and lots of long term significant others are being cut from the list. It is being mostly cut down to parents, grandparents, and siblings. The actual ceremony with be them, the person performing the wedding and both sets of parents, that is it.

If their case is not like this and they are inviting tons of friends and people they have only met a handful of times and excluding your other kids then I am sorry.

oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13. Four in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011, 9/16, 4/16/2017
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