Bf's 4 yo dd lives with us 1/2 time. Any day now, she will have a baby brother. They will share a room (He will sleep with us for now, but a crib will go in the room when he is older. His clothes, toys and baby gear are in the room). We recently moved into this apartment, so she has always know that this particular room is hers and Rex-Goliath's.
They are far enough apart where I am guessing there will not be much toy overlap. Most of her toys are too little for him to safely play with for years. I also wouldn't want her to resent her little brother, so I have no intention of *making* her share her toys with him. If she wants to, that is her business. If it is something that we purchase for the family (games), we will make it pretty clear that it is a family item.
This issue comes with her playing with his toys. For the most part, I could care less. But, my mom bought him a stuffed animal that I would like to keep nice until he is able to play with it. Over the weekend she found it and was chewing on it. I think that she thinks it is hers now (It was in a small bin filled with his new baby toys). If it were any other toy, I probably wouldn't feel as strongly, but it is his first stuffed animal from my mom. Stuffed animals were a big deal in my house growing up. It seems unfair that she can mistreat his toys when I wouldn't let him do that to hers. It seems like a bad precedent to set. Also, she has a whole tribe of stuffed animals of her own. It is not like she is lacking.
There is a big part of me that wants to wash it (it is all crusty now) and hide it while bf and dd are gone today. But what do I say when she asks where it is? And what to I tell bf? I could see a MAJOR tantrum happening when the toy disappears (everything is a major tantrum around here, but that is another story).
Compared to most of the other problems on this board, I know this is a trivial one. In fact, it may just be past-my-due-date-crazy-pregnant-lady hormones that are provoking this. I know it is just a toy, but maybe it's that I need some confirmation that our son will be as important to bf as his daughter is to him, and to me that means having his own belongings.
Am I nuts? How do you all handle this in your houses?