Do you let your kids sleepover with friends? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 18 Old 08-21-2013, 05:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My older daughter has gone to many sleepovers this summer and has had several kids sleep over here. It's been a great deal of fun for her. Some kids over the years have told her that they're not allowed to sleep over at friends' houses. Where do you stand on this?

My younger daughter isn't old enough. I think the older one was 6 or 7 when she started.
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#2 of 18 Old 08-21-2013, 05:58 PM
 
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We do them occasionally, although I reserve the right to be picky about where and when they happen.  If dd had a different personality I might feel differently, but sleepovers are something she can handle, and she enjoys, so why not?
 

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#3 of 18 Old 08-21-2013, 06:25 PM
 
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We let the kids do sleepovers, and they're 5.5 and 3.5.  They've only stayed with one family, and it's mostly for The Hubby and I's benefit.


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#4 of 18 Old 08-21-2013, 07:33 PM
 
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No. Overnights are at my mother's house. MIL isn't well enough to do overnights without us there.  There have been occasional overnights at an aunt's house. 

 

No friends, not yet. I did overnights at a friend's house, but I was in high school and arranged it myself. I'm not comfortable adding to the burden of another mother's bedtime process. Plus, it's just not in my comfort zone yet.


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#5 of 18 Old 08-22-2013, 09:36 AM
 
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My DD asked me every single week for a year. She wanted to spend the night with her best friend. She was 5. I said she had to be 6; mostly because she had a specific bedtime routine she was comfortable with, and I felt that she would end up crying, wanting to go home, and her friends mom would be calling me at 10pm to come pick her up. Her best friend had had 3 or 4 others spend the night already, sometimes all at once. More power to her mom. We let her do it when she was 6. She is still 6, she has now had 3-4 spend the nights. DS is 8 and hasn't had any. He hasn't asked either. Seems it is more of a girl thing, at least with my area. 

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#6 of 18 Old 08-22-2013, 10:06 AM
 
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Dd is almsot 8 and most of her friends don't do sleepovers.  She wants a sleepover for her 8th birthday so hopefully some parents allow it.

 

I'm pretty sure ds has averaged 2 sleepovers a week all summer. He's alwys gone it seems.

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#7 of 18 Old 08-22-2013, 10:36 AM
 
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My 8-year-old DS had his first sleepover at a friend's house this year. He enjoyed it, but he hasn't asked to do another one. Both kids have had lots of sleepovers at grandma's house.

My 5-year-old DD asks for sleepovers all the time. So far I've said no, and it's been handy to say, "Brother had to wait until he was 8." wink1.gif I don't know if I'll actually make her wait that long -- if there's a family we're completely comfortable with I could see it happening sooner, but so far only grandma and auntie fit that criteria. I would be willing to host a sleepover earlier than I'd be willing to send her on one.

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#8 of 18 Old 08-22-2013, 12:01 PM
 
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DS hasn't asked and even if he did, the answer would be no.  He is 7yo so I have a while to worry about it.  I don't see if being something I will allow until he is at least 10yo.


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#9 of 18 Old 08-22-2013, 01:23 PM
 
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By about 8 she was doing sleepovers.  She wasn't really ready before then though..

 

Some of her friends would come over, but then when it came time to fall asleep, I was calling their mom to come get them because they realized they couldn't actually handle it and wanted to go home.  

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#10 of 18 Old 08-23-2013, 12:35 AM
 
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No.  She's not yet 2 and hasn't asked :) Following so I can hear what other mamas think, we were allowed with select friends when younger but as a mom, I think my selection so far is 0 ;)


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#11 of 18 Old 08-23-2013, 12:30 PM
 
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Nope - I don't mind having them here, but my son will never go to another persons house for a sleepover. I feel its an open door for sexual abuse. And even though friends or mom and dad may be safe, you can never tell what other family members or friends of siblings may come for a visit.

 

Not trying to be paranoid, just realistic.



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#12 of 18 Old 08-25-2013, 06:07 PM
 
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I've thought about this over the years.  The only people I ever had sleepovers with were cousins and super-close friends.  While I wouldn't bat an eye at more liberal sleepover policies with others, I imagine wanting to be close with the family before a sleep-over happens.  Though I imagine the occasional party will be okay.

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#13 of 18 Old 08-29-2013, 01:05 AM
 
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yes we allow. since dd was 5. before that i'd go along too. another single mom and i would chat and enjoy our own sleepover and the kids would hang out in the living room.

 

we've gone and had sleepovers at our house.

 

we also do and have participated in mixed sleepovers. 

 

"shrug" dunno. sleepovers are not a big deal for me. dd has even gone on vacations with friends since she was 8 and gone away on overnight one week camps since she was 9. 


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#14 of 18 Old 08-29-2013, 10:56 AM
 
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My dd wants it, but she isn't ready, has quite the elaborate bedtime needs, and that's to sleep in our bed, I can't imagine...one time I babysat her bff and she wouldn't even go to sleep at their house with me there, so, no.

 

But when or if she is ever ready I will need to know the family very well, the child very well and feel very comfortable.

 

I did a lot of sleep overs, though, and it was fine for the most part.

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#15 of 18 Old 08-29-2013, 08:17 PM
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My DD has done a few but mostly kids sleep over here. She is an only child and that makes our home very appealing to her friends with siblings despite it being a very very small apartment. I really don't care either way.
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#16 of 18 Old 08-29-2013, 09:20 PM
 
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My daughter, who is 3 has sleepovers at her cousin's house (who is 4) once a month and vice versa. She has also stayed for a weekend twice when I had to go out of town, once for work and once for school. Maybe it's different because it's family? We never have any issues. They are usually better behaved when they're having sleepovers than the rest of the time.


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#17 of 18 Old 09-22-2013, 02:11 AM
 
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Dd11 has had cousins and her best neighborhood friend sleep at our house but she's never slept anywhere else. She still needs everything "just so" to fall asleep. I go along with telling friends that she's not allowed to because she's really embarassed about her inability to sleep away from her own stuff...that might be true of some of your daughters friends too, Mamazee.
I guess it's just as well because most of her close friends are boys and I don't see DH going for co-ed sleepovers even at this age.
Dd5 is very ready for sleepovers but it hasn't happened yet because she stays up much later than her agemates...don't want to stick anyone else with my night owl at an age that requires so much supervision.
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#18 of 18 Old 09-22-2013, 08:13 AM
 
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Missed this thread last month, but since it's been bumped up, I'll answer. Both dc did sleepovers from a fairly young age. I think DS was not yet 3 when he slept over at a good friend's house.

 

We've hosted a lot of sleepovers through the years. They are still happening :p. In the past couple of weeks, 17 y.o. DD had 4 friends over for a reunion from a summer trip and on another occasion, her BFF. 20 y.o. DS, who plays and promotes rock music shows in his spare time, just asked if we could host 4 guys from a California band for a weekend in November.  Last year, he also had a group of friends at our cottage for a weekend. At this point, I suppose we can just call it "having house guests". 

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