So, hanging with IL's always brings up this issue for me.
My MIL, FIL and BIL are nice. Really....I complain about them a bit, but their hearts are really in the right place.
But, I just can't let go of them verbally discipling my children, especially DD7 and DS4 (as they are mine biologically, and not related to them in that manner)
Tonight, DS was playing in the family room and my SD took a toy he was playing with and he let out a (loud) whine. My reaction, is duh, he just got had something taken away by another kid, we've driven 5 hours today, and its 8pm so everyone is a little tired. I'm sitting across the room looking at pictures with DD7 and my future SIL, and before I have a chance to respond, BIL tells DS "NO YELLLING!".
I instantly get VERY angry, but don't say anything and just go over and sit near DS so that I can "protect" him from future things.
It sounds minor, but this scenario is constant. BIL, MIL and FIL constantly step on my toes as a parent, and end up saying/doing things that are not in line with my parenting AT ALL. In the above situation, I would have first asked my SD to please give the toy she took back (she's 8, old enough to understand that taking things from someone else is not nice) and maybe lead DS thru verbalizing his feelings, but I wouldn't have told him "NO YELLING!".
When I'm with DH's family, I just hear alot of "Careful" (about everything) and micromanagement. It makes me
: BIL then later made a big deal about DD7 and SD6 closing a door...."Make sure you don't pinch your fingers", which I couldn't help respond that "they have the door closing thing down, and if something happens, it's an accident".
This has turned into a bit of a rant....but it just bugs me so much that they feel the need to micromanage MY children. Sometimes if I wonder if it's because they are MY children and not DH's....like they feel there's a need to indoctrinate them in the family way of being alarmist and micromanging.
But what do I say??? I don't want to scream and flip my lid at them, but at the same point there is just some boundary crossing here, IMO