Ughhh, need commiseration and/or advice - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 15 Old 10-12-2008, 09:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My monster-in-law just informed me she bought dd1 a powerwheels thing for her birthday. Besides the fact that I think it's completely ridiculous to spend $200+ for a THREE year old's birthday - we have NO place to store the thing. We don't have a garage to put it in. We do have an outdoor shed but we rent and it hasn't had a lick of maintenance done to it since the day it was built 40 years ago so you can just imagine the kind of shape it's in. Our basement is unfinished and while it *could* go there, it's already filled with other crap in storage because we're busting out of this place. Her suggestion? Hang it from the ceiling. Seriously. You're going to spend $200 on a toy so that we can hang it from the ceiling and dh will *maybe* take it down 2-3x a year to play with?! WTH.

I've talked to dh about it and he agrees it's completely ridiculous but doesn't want to rock the boat.

Not only does the toy piss me off enough, she then has the nerve to say "She'll have to open our toy last". She ALWAYS has to have the "best" toy, ALWAYS has to be the one to show everybody up. I can only cross my fingers that dd doesn't care about it.

I so just want to craigslist the **** thing and buy her something she could actually play with.
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#2 of 15 Old 10-12-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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I don't like those either.

Since you and your DH are both opposed to it, I would have him talk to her and let her know you both feel it is inappropriate and you don't have the space for it. Would you be okay with her keeping it at her house?

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
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#3 of 15 Old 10-12-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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I'd site a safety issue and return it. Or sell it. Or tell Grandma your DD can only play with it under Grandma's strict supervision at Grandma's house, where it will be stored.
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#4 of 15 Old 10-12-2008, 10:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry, if this wasn't clear - while dh agrees with me in impracticality, etc he doesn't think we should say or do anything about it. So basically, I'm stuck with it
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#5 of 15 Old 10-12-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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Hmmm. I've heard that a LOT of those things get broken really, really quickly (not that I'd encourage sabotage or anything):
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#6 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 12:35 AM
 
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I think I'd go with a simple, "Oh, how nice of you. Unfortunately, we just don't have room for it here. Will you be keeping it at your house, then?"

Good luck!

A happy woman
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#7 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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I think your husband is right. While we don't always agree with our MIL's, the big picture is the relationship they share with our child(ren). And while you may not think it is right to spend that kind of money one a child's birthday, YOU didn't buy it. Your MIL did.
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#8 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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Well, my parents love to buy the most obnoxious toys for our girls. I simply tell my parents they can keep it for them to play with at their house. Given that you have no room for it at your home, it would be best to keep it at her's. I hope she can see the logic in that. Play it off as an excuse to have her DD come over more whether you mean it or not.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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#9 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mrspineau View Post
I think your husband is right. While we don't always agree with our MIL's, the big picture is the relationship they share with our child(ren). And while you may not think it is right to spend that kind of money one a child's birthday, YOU didn't buy it. Your MIL did.
I was afraid somebody would say that, I was hoping people would agree with me But I do see your point. Dh and his three siblings each had one of those things so I think it has fond memories for her or something.

MIL will not go for keeping it at her place and quite frankly I really don't want it there. As far as dd knows, powerwheels are only for sitting in, not driving. I'll let her drive it at some point, but right now she has a hard enough time walking without tripping.

While I would NEVER sabatoge dd's toys, especially one that I'm sure she'll love, I can't help but hope the battery will give out or something. Knowing MIL though, she'd just go and buy another one. However, I am putting my foot down at ONE powerwheels at a time. When dd2 turns 3 I'm sure she'll want to buy one for as well, but I'm not giving in on that one.

As much as I will HATE this toy, I have calmed down quite a bit since she informed us. I can only hope it's fun will fade like other light up noisy battery toys - do kids actually like these things and play with them a lot or not? I do remembering begging my parents for one as a kid, but I don't know that it would have held my attention for more than a summer.

I also just found a way to turn MIL's materialistic show off ways to work for me. I told her we were going to get dd1 the FP camera since she never sets mine down when I let her play with it. (While I would have like to get it for her, we just won't have the $ this year) She just emailed to ask what brand it was and where she could get it. So, even though it annoys the bejeebes out of me that she *knew* we were planning on buying it, I've learned to keep my mouth shut on and I can't help but show a sly grin in that it worked to my advantage this time.
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#10 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 01:08 AM
 
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I see that your little ones are still pretty young. My oldest is 7 years old and I am fed up with keeping my mouth shut for the sake of the "relationship". We lived with MIL last year at Christmas and MIL made it a point to buy the gifts that the girls wanted most. She was letting us stay at her house so I let it slide. She always gets obnoxious crap. I overlooked the toys and have always let my kids have whatever she gives them until she got my middle daughter a slutty Bratz doll. I think it was her way of telling my DD that she is a brat but that is another story.

Frankly, if your MIL is disregarding your wishes and trying to show you up, then I think you owe it to yourself and your children to stand up and tell her how you feel. If somebody doesn't stand up to her, who knows what she will try to do next. I have been married to DH for over 10 years and I have bitten my tongue time and time again for the sake of the family relationships. I have repeatedly asked DH to talk to her but he couldn't/wouldn't do it. The last straw was when she cornered DH and told him how horrible I was. DH has never stood up to his mother on my behalf (or anyone else's for that matter) and there was no chance of him ever doing it. I was livid after I "got in trouble" for hurting his mother because I tried to stay out of her way because she is a grumpy, power hungry bitch. I took matters into my own hands and sent her a "nice" e-mail. She has not spoken to me since. She wouldn't even acknowledge the e-mail I sent her. I still encourage the kids to talk to her and be nice to her. They have no clue that I told off their grandma.
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#11 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Lisa85 View Post
I was afraid somebody would say that, I was hoping people would agree with me But I do see your point. Dh and his three siblings each had one of those things so I think it has fond memories for her or something.

MIL will not go for keeping it at her place and quite frankly I really don't want it there. As far as dd knows, powerwheels are only for sitting in, not driving. I'll let her drive it at some point, but right now she has a hard enough time walking without tripping.

While I would NEVER sabatoge dd's toys, especially one that I'm sure she'll love, I can't help but hope the battery will give out or something. Knowing MIL though, she'd just go and buy another one. However, I am putting my foot down at ONE powerwheels at a time. When dd2 turns 3 I'm sure she'll want to buy one for as well, but I'm not giving in on that one.

As much as I will HATE this toy, I have calmed down quite a bit since she informed us. I can only hope it's fun will fade like other light up noisy battery toys - do kids actually like these things and play with them a lot or not? I do remembering begging my parents for one as a kid, but I don't know that it would have held my attention for more than a summer.

I also just found a way to turn MIL's materialistic show off ways to work for me. I told her we were going to get dd1 the FP camera since she never sets mine down when I let her play with it. (While I would have like to get it for her, we just won't have the $ this year) She just emailed to ask what brand it was and where she could get it. So, even though it annoys the bejeebes out of me that she *knew* we were planning on buying it, I've learned to keep my mouth shut on and I can't help but show a sly grin in that it worked to my advantage this time.
well, I suppose it would depend on the child. My cousin had one as a kid and loved it. she played with it all the time. my little sister had one and never showed any interest in it at all. Hopefully if she is genuinely not interested you could suggest she sell it and get something that she would like better that was a little more practical?
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#12 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 01:29 AM
 
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I had a pink Barbie corvette powerwheel when I was a kid....and I HATED it. My friends loved it...which made me hate it even more because that's all they wanted to do when they came over my house.
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#13 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 01:55 AM
 
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Now I feel like I live under a rock -what is a powerwheel? LOL Do you sit in it and drive it? Or is a remote control thingy?

My son for his SECOND birthday just got this thing you sit on that you push a button and "drive". So not safe, no room in our house, no place to even ride it...and MIL didn't tell us in advance what she was getting. When it arrived on our doorstep (she lives far away) I refused to let the kids open it until Dad got home. I was appalled at the thing but thought maybe I was just being a stick in the mud and DH would think it was cool. When he got home he was floored that his mom thought this was an appropriate gift. But he took the same approach. "Let's not rock the boat."

Well we ended up letting DS open it and sit on it. He was terrified of it when you push the button. So big sister spent 20 minutes driving it back and forth on our little patio. Now she refuses to get on it (no fun). DS has discovered it now and occassionally will ride it in one direction on the patio (can't figure out how to turn it around). Anyway, it's not a toy they are particularly attached to. Now the DINOSAURS he got from his other grandma - well he's slept with them every night since he got them. LOL And he's actually more interested in his sisters regular old scooter right now...

I don't know if this is a powerwheels (with a Batman motif - not that they know who Batman even is! LOL) but I guess it depends on how it's sold to them...if everyone gets all exicted about it and makes a big space (like on the ROAD) for them to ride it, then they might get attached. If you act kind of like "oh a ride on thing" and restrict them to the yard, then they will probably lose interest pretty quick...hee, hee, hee.....
peace,
robyn
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#14 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 10:08 AM
 
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FWIW, my son got a power wheels jeep for Christmas a few years ago and wore the tires off that thing. Seriously. He LOVES it. He's way too big now (almost 6 and a big kid) but will still cram himself in there from time to time and drive the heck out of it.

I totally see where you are coming from, esp with space! But it looks like you are ending up with one no matter what. So I thought I would tell you a good story. My son his and used it for 3 years.

Candacepeace.gif, Married to dh   guitar.gif, Mom to ds (8) biggrinbounce.gif , Gavin candle.gif (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our rainbow1284.gif 4-29-12

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#15 of 15 Old 10-13-2008, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hippymomma69 View Post
Now I feel like I live under a rock -what is a powerwheel? LOL Do you sit in it and drive it? Or is a remote control thingy?

My son for his SECOND birthday just got this thing you sit on that you push a button and "drive". So not safe, no room in our house, no place to even ride it...and MIL didn't tell us in advance what she was getting. When it arrived on our doorstep (she lives far away) I refused to let the kids open it until Dad got home. I was appalled at the thing but thought maybe I was just being a stick in the mud and DH would think it was cool. When he got home he was floored that his mom thought this was an appropriate gift. But he took the same approach. "Let's not rock the boat."

Well we ended up letting DS open it and sit on it. He was terrified of it when you push the button. So big sister spent 20 minutes driving it back and forth on our little patio. Now she refuses to get on it (no fun). DS has discovered it now and occassionally will ride it in one direction on the patio (can't figure out how to turn it around). Anyway, it's not a toy they are particularly attached to. Now the DINOSAURS he got from his other grandma - well he's slept with them every night since he got them. LOL And he's actually more interested in his sisters regular old scooter right now...

I don't know if this is a powerwheels (with a Batman motif - not that they know who Batman even is! LOL) but I guess it depends on how it's sold to them...if everyone gets all exicted about it and makes a big space (like on the ROAD) for them to ride it, then they might get attached. If you act kind of like "oh a ride on thing" and restrict them to the yard, then they will probably lose interest pretty quick...hee, hee, hee.....
peace,
robyn
Oh, I think I know what toy that is. Dd's friend has one and he's afraid of it too. Powerwheels are basically the same thing, only bigger and faster. I'm pretty sure you also use the foot pedal and steering wheel rather than a button though I can't be sure.

She will not be driving the thing at all. Not until she can at least demonstrate that she knows how to steer a bike.
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