To Mamas with Sick Babes (sort of a rant) - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 6 Old 01-12-2007, 08:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How are YOU doing? I know I'm feeling pretty worn out here, and Finn is not as sick as some of your babes are. But he has been "sick" since a few days after Thanksgiving and it is really wearing on me. The fact that we still don't know what exactly is wrong is not helping. He is gaining weight (already weighs a whopping 17 lbs. and he'll be 3 months tomorrow), is happy most of the time, sleeps okay, etc. BUT he has this on-going sinus/throat/congestion thing. He had a nasty viral cold that lasted for several weeks (and even sent us to the ER one night) but it has never really gone away. We were told two weeks ago that it was a bacterial infection in his sinuses. The culture confirmed this. We have been giving him antibiotics (which we didn't want to do but felt that nothing else was working) for two weeks now and the last two days it is worse -- NOT better. I am afraid that he has caught ANOTHER cold, though I don't know how that could be because we really don't go anywhere anymore. We did go to the eye doctor's on Monday morning because he had been diagnosed with strabismus in December, but now they say his eyes are fine after all. Anyway, the doctor's assistant was touching his hands during the exam and I'm afraid maybe he caught something from her . . . I just don't know anymore. We have even taken DD out of her preschool co-op (which was only 4 hours a week anyway) and gymnastics. I'm trying to decide if we are going back and I feel bad because I am not fulfilling my part of the "co-op" aspect. Anyway, she is going crazy in this house, as am I. I know she is worried about her little brother and about me because she saw me crying this morning, but the way she reacts to all this is to be more "unruly" than ever. I feel so bad for her too. She is watching way too much TV, and I know she needs more attention and stimulation than she is getting. Finn has been pretty miserable the past two days so I've had to give him even more attention, much to DD's disappointment. And now he seems to have a slight fever the last two days too.

He just has this on-going issue and the doctors don't know what is wrong. I don't really think it is only a bacterial infection because the antibiotics don't seem to be working. I also don't think it is "normal" because it is so dramatic at times and often interrupts his sleep. He just sounds like someone who is sick. He is snarfly and gurgly and often sneezes and coughs a couple times a day, but his nose doesn't run and you can't see a lot of mucus in his nose. He was tested for RSV when we were in the ER at the beginning of Dec. and they did a chest x-ray and said that was fine too. I don't think it is reflux because he doesn't have any other signs expect congestion, but it is really frustrating because it is not like you can see a bunch of mucus in his nose. I just HEAR it. Arrggghhh . . . my new theory is that it may be related to something in my diet. I am going off dairy completely now, but I don't know if it will make a difference. I had already been doing very, very little dairy. I guess if he was really sensitive then maybe it would make a difference. (No one else has any food allergies in our family except DD who will throw up if she eats bananas).

I am just so tired and so worried, and so tired of being worried. I am getting so little sleep because I am up with him several hours a night. DH tries to help in some ways, but he is NO help at night. It is more work to wake him up to get him to help than to just nurse Finn or get up myself. And I'm the one who researches things, makes doctor's appointments, takes the kids to the doctors, takes our sick son to the ER, fills prescriptions, calls BACK the doctors when things don't work, refills the cool mist humidifier, changes the pillow case on DS's sleeping wedge, gives him his medicine, gives him his probiotics, sprays saline up his nose, and nurses him about 10 thousand times a day! Can you tell I'm feeling a little overwhelmed? And I KNOW it could be worse. I feel for all mamas who are doing what I am, and then some. I know daddies (and other family members) love their babies, too, but there is something about being a mother . . . you just do whatever it takes, whenever it is, to do everything you can to help your baby. I can't imagine not doing everything in my power to figure out what is wrong and try to fix it, but I'm just so tired too and really wish there was an end to my "work day."

I am so frustrated too because I feel like I have tried to do all the "right" things. He was born full-term, naturally at home, he is EBF, we co-sleep, we eat very well, take vitamins and supplements, wash hands constantly, limit our exposure to others, he hasn't had any vaxes, etc. and yet this has still happenend. I was worried about having a baby with health problems, especially if he was born in fall/winter and now it seems like that is coming true. I was so optimistic about welcoming in the new year, and really felt like we were leaving all our health problems behind . . . I just can't believe he is sick again, or still sick. I really can't tell anymore. Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant. I just know there are others of you out there dealing with similar things. Sometimes I just feel so alone and overwhelmed in this house and overwhelmed by the situation. I admire all of you mamas who are up with your babes all night, in and out of the hospital, watching your babies take each breath, praying they get better soon. If a mothers love was all it took to make them better I know they'd all be completely healthy already.

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#2 of 6 Old 01-12-2007, 10:39 PM
 
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so sorry you are going through this...I hope you get some relief soon!

Melissa, loving wife love.gif and mama to 4 girls now! DD 12, DD 10 1/2, DD 4, DD 2 Happily homeschool.gif, doing lots of hang.gif very little sleeping.gifof and as much as I can knit.gifsewmachine.gif reading.gif
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#3 of 6 Old 01-12-2007, 11:08 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you are going through all that!
Many healthy vibes to Finn. I hope whatever is going on clears up very soon.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#4 of 6 Old 01-13-2007, 01:39 AM
 
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I understand. Some days I am just barely hanging in there, most days i wake up and feel like I'm going to start crying, but I can't let myself, I know if I started then I might never stop. I can feel that I'm right on the brink of depression, and I'm trying to keep myself on this side. I'm so bored. I literally have barely left the house since Oct. I'm so tired as well, DD2 didn't wake that much in the beginning but her coughing kept me up all night, now she is coughing less but she is nursing constantly. We had issues with her weight gain, so I do absolutely nothing but sit on the couch nursing her. DD1 has really suffered. I actually did the opposite of what you did and put DD1 in pre-school and all sorts of classes (I have drivers for her), to get her out of the house. I was just parking her in the TV for most of day, I couldn't do anything with her. I'm terrified of her being home a cold so we are trying to really boost up her immune system, i just don't know what else to do though. My good friend has been so great at taking DD1 over to her house a lot, taking her to dance, but it can't be every day. I have my mom around who has been helping out so much, but she needs to go back to work, they have a vacation planned that they keep putting off. I needed to find other ways of keeping DD1 entertained, hence the pre-school, but DD2 can't get sick, it would land her back in the hospital. i don't know, I feel just as stuck as you do. DH and I have thought about him taking DD1 and staying elsewhere if she gets sick. I can't keep her in a bubble, she is high needs child, and was going insane with all the time she had been spending at home doing nothing.

I also feel so guilty, we had a HB, all the same things you did and do, and here we are with DD2 being so sick. It could of been a lot worse, the things we do, do make a difference, but I never thought that we'd be here. We still have months left of cold and RSV season to make through, DD2 is going to remain on O2 until springish, and that's if she doesn't get anything else. I really feel like it is going to be months before we can put out lives back together. I think in terms of months, maybe next month I can go to the grocery store, but then I think of all the germs, and how she is just starting to improve, that we haven't been to the hospital yet this year, I don't want to go back.


DH has been afraid to bond with DD2, he loves her, but he has held back, I can tell that he still is. He is afraid to get to close to her in case something happens. It makes my life harder, I do everything. I feel so bad that she is so sick that I hold her 24/7, she needs that bonding and connection. I get a shower every other day while DH holds her. My mom comes by a couple times a week and holds her so I can do some laundry, and pay bills. I can't put her in any slings because of her tubing and her coughing fits. I don't know to manage two children, I've never really had to yet.


No real advice, but this mama knows how you feel.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#5 of 6 Old 01-22-2007, 06:22 PM
 
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So sorry to hear about you mamas - I'm in a similar boat with ds. This is my first time back here to this board since ds was born Oct 15. It seems like he has had more sick days than well days. First cold was at 3 weeks, which my midwife thought was impossible with a nursing baby. My preschooler dd had had a cold, as did all of us, so I knew ds had one. After 2 weeks of congestion, we ended up at urgent care one wkd - nothing in his chest, thank goodness. Then he had a healthy week I think, then dd caught another cold, then the whole thing went around with us again. Ds seemed to be getting better, but then his nose suddenly got drippier - cold #3??? There are hundreds of viruses to be caught. I tried to call his doctor this a.m. to rule out anything in his chest again, but couldn't get through. Then I thought, ds is always happy, no matter how drippy or how much he coughs. He had 2 brief fevers in his life so far, the last one only lasted an hour, 2 wks ago. The last doc we saw said his loose cough & congestion was only in his throat, that rattling just echoes throughout his chest because he his just baby-sized. If it were in his chest, or bacterial, wouldn't ds be miserable? everyone comments on how good-natured & chatty he is. He's big, nursing well... so maybe I should just relax more & wait. I also think we attract illness to ourselves by putting too much attention on illness. I'm trying to visualize our family as healthy as much as possible & get out into the sun. It's hard not to worry, but worry does so much harm. may our babies get well really soon!
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#6 of 6 Old 01-22-2007, 10:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey seahorsie! You situation sounds sooooooo very similar to what we have gone through. I had no idea that a 3 week old could get a cold either! I thought that having him at home, EBF, and not going anywhere would prevent that from happening, but an older sister's love (and germs!) go a long way I guess!

My current theory about DS is that he simply has on-going congestion/inflammation form his last cold and that sometimes it is just really hard for their little bodies to kick it. This is basically what our pediatrician has said and this is what my naturopath said this weekend too. Oh, I hope it goes away soon!

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