What household rules do you use and what natural consequence would you use if your LO breaks the rules? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 4 Old 06-08-2009, 07:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm in process of adjusting some of my household rules and I'm still learning/struggling with applying the GD and Natural Consequences approach whenever my 6 yrs old break the rules.

I'm just curious what rules and natural consequences you guys use because I am sure many of you thought of rules or consequences that I haven't thought of that may work on my 6 yrs old.

Thanks in advance,


Here's what I have and my DH and I have to also follow the rules to set the example for the 6 yrs old:

Be respectful to others and to their things. (Say nice things and don't touch or take other people's things without asking their permission first).

Be gentle to others and animals. (Yelling, hitting, kicking, pushing, pulling or throwing things to others or animals will hurt everyone involved in the situation.)

Be truthful. (It feels good to know that others believe things you say without doubting you.)

Put things back to their place after using them. (Clean up after yourself.)

Consider going to your room to calm down when you feel really upset/angry. (It is good to have some time alone to calm down and think about what is making you upset or angry then talk about it when you've calmed down.)

I heartbeat.gif my  9/22/02  dd who likes to blahblah.gif, 4/29/09 mos old. silly & adventurous girl twins twins.gif ,  11/15/l0 girl baby.gif & my coffee drinking DH!
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#2 of 4 Old 06-08-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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Ours are very simple because our kids are young. Disclaimer-I have no problems with imposing a logical consequence when the natural consequence is not within her understanding, or if the natural consequence is too serious/harmful for her to experience. As an adult with more life experience than a 4 year old, I feel it is my responsibility to keep her safe- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

1. Obey God.
2. Respect yourself. (eat healthily, do not put your self in dangerous situations-we help with that, keep panties on-yes, that's a rule around here)
3. Treat people, animals and property with kindness and respect. (speak kindly, respond when you are spoken to, do not break or otherwise ruin stuff)

The natural consequences are sometimes more logical...simply because there IS no real logical consequence in the moment that young children will understand. So, if dd1 is talking in a disrespectful way, eventually if she does that to others, people wont want to be with her, however, there is no way she will get that now. So if she is being unkind I will remind her that what she is doing is unkind and would she like to try again/change her tone. If not, she is welcome to separate herself from the person she is being offensive to until she is willing to treat them with respect. Same with obeying God. She may not get that disobedience to Him will eventually cause her hardship, but we can talk about it now, and put limitations in place to help her chose the right way.

Basically we immerse her in teaching her the principles and values we adhere to, those found in the bible. Obviously that wont work for everyone, but it's what we do here. HTH
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#3 of 4 Old 06-08-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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These are our family's basic rules. They're not rules per say, but ways to live. Often, punishments are not necessary, but there are natural consequences and acts of restitution necessary for not being in harmony with the rest of the family. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you are unkind, you need to apologize and help heal the hurt with a hug. I strive to teach my kids to be self motivated to practice self control. I want them to feel the reward inside for making good choices and I want them to feel proud about themselves for doing the right thing. I choose to "catch" them doing the right thing to reinforce the good behaviours and a quick reminder and chat about why our family chooses a path of love and kindness is generally all it takes. By striving to attain these goals in every day life we stay focused on the positive and don't need to walk down a path with negatives. My children love having a place in the family, tasks to be responsible for, and being helpful. Even the 2 yo is happy to help his brothers or sisters throw something away, put his plate on the counter or fetch his own shoes.

Be kind to one another
Be respectful of your things and other’s things
Use your room as a safe place when you need to be alone or calm down
Be helpful and considerate
Work as a team
Ask for help if you need it
Watch out for one another
You are in charge of your own feelings and actions
Everybody's different and has different strengths and challenges.

Wife to my wonderful Pablo, mum to Roo 8/10/01, Vin 1/10/07, Bug 6/3/07, Butterbean 12/12/09
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#4 of 4 Old 06-08-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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Well, in my mind, you wouldn't "use" a natural consequence; a natural consequence would occur, well, naturally.

We don't really have rules either. I'm trying to think of a rule...they have a lot of leeway and we let them know when they go too far.
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