My almost 3 year old has a new favorite phrase.
"I dont wanna."
Usually I dont care. If she doesnt want to get dressed, she doesnt have to. If she doesnt want to put on shoes, thats fine. If she doesnt want to eat, that is ok too, she can eat later.... but sometimes it is important and she doesnt understand it.
So of course I want to tie her up and feed her to the alligators in the bayou by my house.
Things I have tried:
"Usually it is ok if you dont want to but this is important so please do XXX because if you do it will be over and you can move on to things that you DO want to do"
"Please do this, I know that you dont want to and it is ok but you have to do it anyways because of XXX reason"
"Why dont you want to do it?" I try to see if there is a real reason, and go from there... if there is not I say "well I understand your reason but sometimes there are things that we must do and this is one of them".
threatening the above mentioned giant lizards... ok maybe I havent tried it but I wanted to.
I would say that 50% of the time she does things, the other 50 she doesnt. These are things liek getting in her carseat. She will FIGHT and cry and scream but we have to do it. I will not let her in a car without one. It is not uncomfortable and usually she is fine, but when she doesnt want to leave a place or when she is just in a "mood" there is no stopping the "i dont wannas" followed by tantrums. She will hold her breath until she turns colors and I tell her to breathe and she will breathe just to say "I dont wanna". It really is almost a game to her. So I tend to ignore those and she is fine after a while because she HAS to breathe.
I do not believe in rewards. I do not believe in "Julie is doing it so why dont you".
Any suggestions? I want to be gentle when making her do what we need and certainly picking my battles but it is getting old.
She has a huge vocab for her age and will try to barter and negotiate, she will refuse and tell me that she doesnt have to for XXX reason. It isnt as simple as "NO!!" and that is it.
oh and this has been going on for around 4 months now. i thought it was a phase but its a long one it seems.