"Mine!" - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 01-13-2010, 04:08 PM - Thread Starter
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I know this is pretty "normal" behaviour for 21 month olds, but in the last two days my DD has started saying "MINE" about everything and it's driving me crazy. Does anyone have ideas about how to handle it? Maybe I should not react, but it's hard sometimes. She used to say "No, me!" which I much preferred and now she has switched to yelling "mine" about everything.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts on handling this!

DD born April 7/08 and expecting #2 October 2010!
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#2 of 3 Old 01-13-2010, 04:31 PM
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I think they learn it from us, I know that I say "that's my coffee, you can't have my coffee, it could burn you blah blah blah" "That's my/mama's computer, you can't play with my computer it could break blah blah blah" so they pick it up pretty quickly that "ownership" is a powerful tool.

Ds is 29 months old and is really focused on the ownership of items, whose shoes are whose, whose hat etc (we live in a house of 8 people, 7 adults and ds, so there are a lot of "things" and I think ds' knows "whose" almost everything is)

When he says things are "mine" or even "yours" or "so and so's" but they are in fact things everyone can use, a chair, a glass, a book etc. We usually say, "actually that belongs to everyone, or it belongs to the house (or at school, it belongs to the school) but you are currently using it" or something like "that cup is for everyone, but right now, yes mama is using it" or he says "my ball" and I say "that is the ball you are using"

pretty much though if it is *hers* I would acknowledge it, as she is trying to order the world, also if its the yell of "mine" complete with snatching (oh how I love that!) then I would address the "snatching" more than the word usuage.
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#3 of 3 Old 01-13-2010, 05:33 PM
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My 2 1/2 yo has been doing that for awhile now. It just takes time and practice. We do what the PP recommended and tell her that some things belong to everyone and some things belong to individuals. I also have to remind my 6 yo that not everything is hers and that we're trying to teach the youngest that not everything is hers. It's one of those developmental things that almost all of us go through. Many adults are still learning to share. We try to model sharing and talk about how good it feels to share with others. I don't make too big a deal of it. I explain to my other daughters that she'll grow out of it, but for now some things we need to just let go of. If someone needs that item, we try to redirect her attention to something else so that all are happy.

Wendy - mom to dd1(11), dd2(7), dd3(3)
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