My DD is 28 months old. Recently her behaviour has become much more trying, including lots of hitting, kicking, throwing stuff, and not cooperating when things need to get done i.e. getting dressed, brushing hair, cleaning up. It's all a big battle. She has also become much more aggressive with other kids, which she was not before.
So now whenever she does something "bad", she says to me "Are you happy, Mommy?" Sometimes I say "No, I am not happy that you did that." Sometimes, I say "Yes I am happy, but I wish you wouldn't do X."
This might seem silly but I worry a bit that she's almost being manipulated by whether or not I'm happy. I revisited Unconditional Parenting recently and there was specific mention in there about not forcing children to do things in order to make us (parents) happy. I guess this feels a bit like that, even though she is the one instigating it. I have before told her "Mommy is not happy with X" and I guess she latched onto it and now she's constantly asking "Are you happy, Mommy" when she's done something "bad".
More recently, if she hits me or kicks me and I say "Ow, that really hurt Mommy" she will say "Sorry, Mommy" of her own accord and follow it up with "Are you happy now because I said sorry?". I have never forced her to apologize before so not sure where this is coming from.
Anyway, I'm wondering how those who practice UP would handle this. I don't have one specific philosophy around discipline, but it feels like the way this all plays out is kind of wrong.
Thanks for the thoughts!
DD born April 7/08 and expecting #2 October 2010!