Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
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We had very few rules when the kids were little, so concepts of right and wrong didn't enter in to it. We always hold hands in parking lots or when crossing the street. We always wear seat belts. We don't do things that make sister cry. Mostly, I sat my kids up to be good through a combination of keeping their environment so they were free to explore, and keeping a very few, very clear, very consistently followed rules, and making sure they got enough rest.
When I re-directed behavior, I tried to explain why while giving them a better option "We don't pull kitty's tail because it hurts her and makes her feel sad, but we do pet kitty gently on the back, which makes her happy." I tried to teach them empathy with what others were experiencing, and pets and sibling gave lots of opportunities for that.
I also worked on teaching them routines, which I made pictures charts for -- a bed time routine, a morning routine, and a leaving the house routine.
As far as issues that many people consider morality, such as sex, drugs, alcohol, etc., that didn't come in until much later, and I focused on teaching them to think through how various choices will play out in their lives, and making choices that will serve them well.
But for me, if you've thought through how your actions affect others and how they will play out in your own life, that's really about all there is to right and wrong.
but everything has pros and cons