Am I becoming "that parent"???? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 96 Old 06-11-2005, 02:13 PM
 
boomingranny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: electric ladyland
Posts: 532
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK OK

While visiting my relatives in Denmark, we were at one fancy family restaurant that had a SEPARATE ROOM with a lego table. The kids would go between the lego table in another room and the parents' table. They had a space to themselves, also I noticed that they were expected to respect other diners, meaning - screaming, running and general misbehavior was not to be tolerated. This wasn't done in a nasty way, just an expectation that kids are not the center nor on the margin of the society they are INTEGRATED. This is my belief. If the eating establishment is one where kids are integrated and welcome, that there is a designated kid space then its cool. I waited until my dd was able to sit for a short period of time before we brought her to big time restaurants. We started at chinese restaurants.

I also have waited tables too many years to count and even with some people I know, they have allowed their kids to disrupt diners. Kids (older and toddlers) wrestling on a floor is imho, just not acceptable. It's not about kids not having rights, or being treated like pariahs, it's about respect and consideration for the group, for the community. One of the ways children can learn about community is how to behave so that they can enjoy themselves but not disrupt and learn the ever-obnoxious "entitlement" symndrome.

Cheers
boomingranny is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#92 of 96 Old 06-12-2005, 03:47 PM
 
peaceful_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: #12 Grimmauld Place
Posts: 5,004
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
Here's what I think it all comes down to though---kids will *not* put on sudden 'good manners' for a restaurant. It has to start at home, being expected to sit at the table for a length of time reasonable for their age, to eat with manners appropriate for their age, etc.
If they're allowed to get by with things at home, nobody should be surprised to see that behavior in a restaurant.

The other thing that *really* gets me is seeing people try to sit and have drinks, dessert, etc. after dinner at a sit-down place with small kids in tow and then getting mad at their kids when the kids do inappropriate things out of BOREDOM. I *hate* watching people take it out on their kids when the children don't live up to unreasonable expectations--NO child, even the BEST-behaved restaurant-dining child, is going to sit quietly for 2 hours in a restaurant. Box up your dessert and enjoy it with coffee at home after the kids are in bed, or while they play Legos, or whatever.
Might be different if restaurants in America had children's rooms, but unless you go to McD's or ChuckECheese, they don't.
Nothing wrong with parents taking children to restaurants other than McD's or CEC's but PLEASE PLEASE plan with your child's ability to sit and eat and play at a table in mind!

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
one girlie
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(1/07), one 13 wk
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(10/13) and
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
5/15 just your average
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
multigenerational living family!!
peaceful_mama is offline  
#93 of 96 Old 06-12-2005, 04:15 PM
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,246
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zakers_mama
Here's what I think it all comes down to though---kids will *not* put on sudden 'good manners' for a restaurant. It has to start at home, being expected to sit at the table for a length of time reasonable for their age, to eat with manners appropriate for their age, etc.
If they're allowed to get by with things at home, nobody should be surprised to see that behavior in a restaurant.
I've got to disagree with you. We have no expectations for my daughter at dinner at home. She can get up and down from the table at will at home. She can play during dinner at home. She can eat if she wants but she doesn't have to. She usually wants to eat what we have but if she doesn't, I'll make her something else. I haven't had any problems at home, and she is still quite willing and able to sit at a restaurant through a dinner, so long as we have some paper and crayons with us.
mamazee is offline  
 
#94 of 96 Old 06-12-2005, 05:45 PM
Banned
 
Sarihah's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Pleasantville.
Posts: 628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bri276
it bothers me, to be honest.

the whole "better running around happy then sitting down screaming" doesn't make sense to me- how about neither? Obviously if I go to a very child-oriented place I fully expect to see both, but out to eat? no. And while it's excellent that he sits during the meal, it's sort of teaching him that restaurants are an okay place to run around in when he's allowed to do so while not eating.

normally I wouldn't say anything, but hey, you asked! lol

ITA. To me, going to a restaurant before a child is able to handle it is not a good idea. When my dd was that age, we just didn't go out much.

A couple of weeks ago we went to see a movie that was totally NOT appropriate for small children. (It was a scarey movie, something that dd and I enjoy together). A couple sat down next to us with a child who was probably not yet two years old. The child talked and screamed and of course, nothing they could say would stop him, he couldn't help it, he was just a baby!

I went to the manager to ask for my money back, and his mom followed me outside and got very angry at me. I couldn't believe it. I didn't ask her to leave, I was leaving! I don't have the right to leave, there's some rule in her universe that says I have to sit there through his screaming???
Sarihah is offline  
#95 of 96 Old 06-13-2005, 04:08 PM
 
soccerchic21's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Burien, WA
Posts: 3,149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimie
I would rather he be running and laughing than sitting and whining/screaming. And I'm sure you're smart about it and don't let him run where the wait staff are trying to carry trays.
I agree. We escort our 23 month old around restaurants when she gets restless. We only go to very family friendly places though too.

Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
soccerchic21 is offline  
#96 of 96 Old 06-13-2005, 07:08 PM
 
Trinitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,344
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Library noise level? No, that's not what I expect, it's a coffee shop.

A reasonable noise level with people not running around? YES.

This parent was disrespecting the other patrons in the shop by letting her child run, scream/squeal, jump on seats and interrupt people while they were busy with things. The parent was allowing the child to be much more disruptive than any crowd of teens I've seen at this spot.

Time and a place.

Not that the original poster was letting her child do this, mind you, just sharing my own experience.
Trinitty is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 1,138

13 members and 1,125 guests
alex-alex , Arishaa , bellydancingmommy , CricketVS , Deborah , idler , kathymuggle , KerriB , LadyDreamer , megaluv2give , powerfullg
Most users ever online was 21,860, 06-22-2018 at 09:45 PM.