am i doing this right? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 5 Old 10-11-2005, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my babe is only 12 months, but she's so precocious that it feels like i'm taking care of an older toddler, seriously. she has a very hard time with teething, poor girl, and after many hours of whining/screaming it does make me feel on edge. i try hugs and empathy first ... distraction second ... if nothing else works, i go get a big soft blanket and we settle into a comfy chair while she cries on my shoulder. she sounds so damn heartbroken!! and i feel helpless, not being able to fix things before she gets to the unconsolable crying point. if i start to feel anxious, like yelling, i make sure she has her blankie (her main lovey) and i just run to the bathroom or in the next room for a few moments, yell into a pillow or towel, take a deep breath and go back to her. but i feel awful that it gets to the point where i feel like yelling, you know? am i doing the right thing by resorting to just holding her while she cries? i mean, i'm talking for the future ... will this help her when she's reached more frustrating times in the future, or will she always cry as a response to stressors? i'm worried that i'm teaching her that crying is the only response she can have. sorry if that didn't make sense, i definitely need help working through this! TIA.

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#2 of 5 Old 10-11-2005, 01:47 AM
 
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anyone who is crying needs to be held...but particularly wee little babies...you are doing the exact right thing...especially since she is crying from pain. I hope things get better soon.
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#3 of 5 Old 10-11-2005, 02:04 AM
 
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i think you are doing exactly the right thing! crying does relieve stress - it releases the chemicals in your body that hold stress (not explaining it very well, sorry).

is there anything that helps with her teething pain? hylands teething tablets? motrin? etc?

hang in there!

kris
owen, 11 months
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#4 of 5 Old 10-11-2005, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i've been trying everything for teething pain, ibuprofen seems to help a little. so does napping through it, she's taking a lot of little catnaps.

it's not just teething though, even when she's not teething, she's a very passionate little person. she's either very happy, or very upset. we've been lucky that she was mostly happy for the last year! now it's all topsy turvy and she seems mostly upset all day. doesn't want to play with anything, doesn't want to dance or play games with me, she's pretty distracted. maybe it is just teething, i can't see any more and they've all broken through already. i'm keeping an eye on her. at least she's able to sleep and nap soundly! she's out like a light right now. she wakes up happy.

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#5 of 5 Old 10-12-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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My daughter just turned one and sounds like your dd. My ds was also like that at his age.

I think it has a lot to do with innate temperment. My kids have always been spirited and hands-on. They were also really good communicators, and couldn't understand why they weren't able to do something that they clearly communicated. For instance, my dd always wants to be outside. We spend a lot of time outside, but sometimes she wants to go outside and we can't (or at least don't). She's too little to talk herself through the disappoinment, so she explodes. In other words, sometimes they get upset because they now know that some of the things that we won't let them do are options. But babies get frustrated for all sorts of reasons, of course.

Good luck coping with it. It makes sense to hold her and to remove yourself physically for a short period of time if you need to cool down.
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