Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mass. Confusion
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I've never spanked, but I have used time outs and I haven't found them to be a great solution and it creates tension and distance between you and your child. I agree with the previous posters that the best way to deal is with realistic expectations. 2.5 is such a hard age - they are old enough to understand so much, we are so ready to make the leap from them being impulsive infants to real kids who can control their actions - its hard to keep yourself from thinking of them as being able to understand the consequences.
Honestly I think the best way to deal with a situation like that is to show your genuine reaction, for me it would be a gasp and immedialy pulling the child off, etc, take care of the baby and tell the older child what they did wrong - but remember that your child who most likely didn't stand on his little sister viscously, he doesn't know he can stand on you and not her, etc. If this is a continual problem, I would use repetition - talk to him constantly when he's interacting with her about what is appropriate and what isn't. I find that this is the most effective method of preventing my 2.5 year old from doing something in the future - eventually she will start repeating the "rule" and then even enforcing it to others. I like to soften rules by saying "we" rather than you. "We don't stand on the baby", etc. It might sound silly, but he probably doesn't understand why its okay to stand on say Daddy but not the baby.
Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)