"Look at that little boy. Mommy would love it if you were nice like him." - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 9 Old 04-07-2006, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That was directed at a little boy in reference to my son today.

Granted James was being pretty good, just sitting in his stroller playing with the little steering wheel...but to say that whole "Mommy would love it" to me just implies "Mommy would love YOU" kwim? Maybe I'm way off base, but from what I saw the kid wasn't even doing anything just wanted to walk around. Kind of made me sad.







and kind of proud that for once James wasn't being a bear in the store. LOL:

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#2 of 9 Old 04-07-2006, 07:11 PM
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Nobody ever says that about either of my kids because they're monsters

I would take it as a compliment but still feel really bad for the child. Sure, most of us think it at times but who actually says something like to their kid?
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#3 of 9 Old 04-07-2006, 07:31 PM
 
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I cringe when I hear the word "nice" in any context...especially one like this. Wow.

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#4 of 9 Old 04-07-2006, 08:15 PM
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i agree with what most peolple here said about what that mom said, as well as with you.

i try never to compare the kids i work with to other kids or say "look that little boy or girl is being good why cant you be like that" especially if all they are doing is just well being kids. also i belive it makes them feel less of themselves and well that is something that would hurt me as well, i remeber how my mom would say that sometimes to me, i didnt like it.
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#5 of 9 Old 04-08-2006, 01:34 AM
 
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Ouch...

As if DH was to say "I would like it if you were as nice (skinny? busty?) as that lady over there"
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#6 of 9 Old 04-08-2006, 02:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Now normally James does pretty well in public (unless he wants to get down and run away, or we stop moving the stroller. ) but I really didn't like her comparing her son and James. My main reason was her son was probably a year older than James, so how can you compare the two?

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#7 of 9 Old 04-08-2006, 12:37 PM
 
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Comments that compare children really rub me the wrong way too, BUT -- I'd give that mama the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes things slip out of my mouth before I've thought them through, and I feel pretty foolish/bad aftewards. I would try to assume that the one comment you heard is not a reflectoin of her whole parenting style.
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#8 of 9 Old 04-08-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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I hate when people must "compare!!" Too bad the kid wasn't old enough to say: "And *I'd* love it if you were nice like that Mommy!!" :

~Marie: Mom to DS(17), DS(16), DD(14), DD(10), DD(8) & someone new on the way.
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#9 of 9 Old 04-09-2006, 06:32 AM
 
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I don't like comparing either and have found it to be a problem with my in-laws here who see my dd at least once a week . I have to say that I hear the "look at that child! he's not crying like you!" comment quite often here, which bugs me a bit. It's really not only that either, but also other things to get children to conform to be like others. It worries me because i do see that my dd wants to have what others have. Maybe it's normal for her age - she's three. I hope she'll grow out of it...especially when she gets to be a teen.
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