When a child wants to hurt you - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 4 Old 06-09-2006, 05:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd goes through phases when she will hit me (only me, never my dh) and I will say "We don't hit" to which she'll reply "But I want to be bad" (I don't know where she got this, I have NEVER called her BAD, but she picked it up somewhere) or she'll just growl at me like a little animal.
OR if I say "Please don't do that, it hurts mommy" she'll say "I want to hurt you"
Now I'm very pleased that she is so aware of her emotions and all, but what do you do?
I tried the "It's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hit" when she's angry, but this is like a game to her, it comes out of nowhere and she's not angry or anything.
What do you guys think?
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#2 of 4 Old 06-09-2006, 06:12 AM
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Mine does this, too. They are just exploring their boundaries, word meanings, etc. I turn it into some fun play. Maybe laugh and grr back or give her a tickle. Or play stuffed animals with her and let her stuffed animal be a little bad. (so no one gets hurt) And, I also try to change the subject. Instead of responding, I will ask if she wants to play playdoh or hear a story. The more you focus on it, the more she will do it. The more you get upset at it, the more she will do it. Be a good role model by example and she will grow up just fine. She is just sowing her oats.
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#3 of 4 Old 06-09-2006, 01:25 PM
 
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ITA with boongirl. It's normal behaviour. She could be trying on roles of "bad", exploring her ability to do things she knows she shouldn't, etc. I, too, would try to turn it around into playtime. Or, I would say "wow, you seem angry" if I thought it was related to that - like you have just said she can't have something.

As boongirl said, the more you focus on the hitting, the more she will do it. Don't react too much, other than maybe a gentle reminder "I don't like being hit" or "it's not okay to hit" then move on to a suggestion for play.


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#4 of 4 Old 06-09-2006, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice. I haven't really been overreacting or anything, so I guess I'll just keep it up.
I guess it is just one of those wait it out kind of things. . . like a most things.
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