aggression with younger kids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-23-2003, 09:49 PM - Thread Starter
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(I posted this yesterday in the childhood years - but I didn't get any replies, so I thought maybe this was the better place for it! )Help! My 3 year old DS is really rough with younger children. At the playground, the zoo, where ever we go he goes up to 1 and 2 year olds and hugs them over and over and ends up knocking them down. He also pushes them down on purpose sometimes and the other day he bit a littler girl for no reason. I've talked to him so many times about being gentle and mouse hugs instead of bear hugs and asking before hugging and backing off when kids pull away because they can't talk, but he doesn't seem to be getting it and I don't understand why he is doing it. He has a 5 month old baby sister who he is really loving and affectionate with, but I can't put her down around him because he is so active and ends up hurting her, and he is not at all aggressive with kids his own age, he is very verbal and has great social skills and is very sensitive to other people being hurt. A little girl got knocked down by her big brother on the swing and my son went over and really gently hugged her and rubbed her face and kissed her and was so concerned about her he talked about it all day, but also said he wanted to be the big brother and knock her down, that he was curious how he hurt her. How can I help him learn to be gentle and respectful to younger children? It's getting so I don't want to take him anywhere because I am following him around scared to death he's going to hurt a little kid.
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#2 of 2 Old 04-24-2003, 08:14 AM
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he sounds very sweet and loving AND AHH 3!
Ive posted this before, but simply, help the hurt child, model compassion and care to the other child and say nothing to him at all..he learns by whats modelled, and will see, when he does that, he gets no attention but repels others...he will outgrow this anyway.
Its not like he will be 10 and doing it (I think some parents think that if they dont "learn" arent "taught" then they will forever behave emotionally like a 3yo!...not true I dont think)
Children ARE innately social and if they know they are trusted, welcome and worthy...this kind of behaviour does not hold for long
(Not saying other factors may not be involved ie. emotional issues in the home, traumas etc)
This is really so normal, dont worry!
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