Join Date: May 2002
Location: Home is where the heart is
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I wouldn't call this backtalk. To me backtalk is blatantly disrespectful and meant to be rude and sassy. The examples you gave are just typical toddler expression of opinion.
When my little guy says no to something that isn't negotiable, I often just tell him, in an empathetic and casual voice, something like "I hear ya! I wish we could stay home too. It really stinks that we have to go right now. I can't wait to get home so we can play together again. What do you want to play when we get back home?" as I'm sort of ushering him out the door. 9 times out of 10 he just wants to be heard and acknowledged.
If there is something that pushes his buttons every time, you can give him choices from acceptable options:
- "I think wearing a coat is a bummer too. It's very cold so I'm going to chose my warmer coat today. Do you want to choose this coat or that coat? Which coat will you choose today?"
And last, my little guy loves games so if we can make it into a game, we do. "I'll race you to the car, last one in is a rotten egg!" or "I bet I an get more toys than you put into this big bin before the timer goes off. 1-2-3 GO!"
And, of course, decide if it really is worth the fight. If you are going from the house to the car, does he really need to wear his coat or can he carry it instead? (He shouldn't be wearing a coat in a car seat anyway) Is it imperative that he keep his room clean? Obviously there are things that will go down that will be necessary but often times what seems necessary to us really isn't all that black and white. I think most of us can afford to drop at least 50% of the power struggles we have with our kids and if we succeed, the other 50% will be WAY easier to deal with!
Nicole ~ mama to 3 energetic boys and one crazy girl
~Home water birthing, homeschooling birth photographer~