Will he eventually get it? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 08:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I need to hear from all of you experienced mamas out there.

My nearly 8 month old only sleeps in 20-60 minute intervals all night long. He is definitely "boob addicted" since he roots in his sleep and will stay attached for up to an hour at a time without even sucking. I'm not as concerned about our sleep deprivation as I am stressed about getting stuff done at night (like work - we need the $$). But it often takes until about 10pm to really get him down for a decent stretch (longer than 15-20 minutes). I'm also concerned that all of the eating is causing him a lot of stomach distress in the night (he arches his back continuously and thrashes a lot).

My husband and pretty much everyone around me says we should CIO. I can't bear it. People say "but if he doesn't learn now, when are you going to teach him how to sleep"?

I know all the reasons why CIO is bad, but can any of you reassure me that my son will eventually sleep or figure out how to get to sleep on his own without CIO? Any thoughts on when things might get better? (I'm not looking for an instant miracle - but I'd like to think I'll get a few hours of straight sleep in the next year or two.) Or what I can do to move us in that direction? I'll read Pantley's book and we may try giving him water at night to help with the stomach distress. We're also going to play with his schedule a bit.

TIA,

Sarah
mama to Sam (7-04-03), my angel Jacob (stillborn at 40 wks - 5-15-06) and James (11-08-07)
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#2 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 10:07 AM
 
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Have you ruled out food allergies/ reactions? Nursing shouldn't be causing him stomach distress. Is he eating any solids? Do you consume a lot of dairy in your own diet?

It will definitely get better. 8 months is really, really little. You're doing the right thing, sticking up for him and refusing to CIO. You don't have to "teach" him to sleep, but you may have to facilitate it for a while. Hang in there, he'll get it eventually.
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#3 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 10:44 AM
 
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My little guy was much the same way. He would be attached to me all.night.long. I would lie down with him around 8pm and would be stuck there until morning. His naps were much the same. He would only nap on my lap while nursing.

He will be one next week and his sleep patterns have completely changed. Its like it happened overnight. He sleeps from 8ish to 4ish with one quick nursing in there. At around 4am he has a pretty lengthy nursing and then he goes back down. He is in there right now by himself and its almost 9am!!

I can get things done now. I can spend quality time with his sisters now while he is sleeping. He naps alone now.

We DIDNT do CIO. Never have. Never would be able to. It breaks my heart.

But, I must admit there are slight twinges where I miss him being so little and so needy of me and nursing. He is growing up to fast!
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#4 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 11:29 AM
 
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Well I do hope it will change eventually! My 8 month old is exactly the same. Like I mentioned in another post, I read Pantley's book and I'm going to read it again.

The first thing I'm trying is to get him to love his lovey :. And I don't let him fall asleep while sucking. We fight like this: he nurses, finishes, I take the boob away. He fusses, I give him the boob, he sucks, I count till 10 and take it away. Again and again and again. After abou half an hour he is so dead tired that when I take the boob, he reaches for it but falls deep asleep before he even manages to grab it. I believe Pantley is very right when she says that if the baby falls asleep doing something (or at certain place) and then wakes up not doing it (or somewhere else), he is disturbed and less likely to fall back asleep by himself. That's why I'm starting with the nursing bit.

I pray that it works because I'm so tired now :yawning:
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#5 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 03:58 PM
 
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If he's always been like this, there could be something in your diet that he's reacting to. If it coincides with the introduction of solids, there could be something in his diet doing it.

If he's arching his back and thrashing around, his tummy probably hurts- not from overeating but from something hurting his tummy. If this was happening for a short period of time, say connected to teething or illness, then I'd say just ride it out. But most babies have at least one longer stretch of sleep that lasts 3-6 hours, and some 1-2 hour stretches in between. If he's literally never slept longer than one hour at a time his whole life, that probably indicates a problem.

Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
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#6 of 10 Old 07-03-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
If he's always been like this, there could be something in your diet that he's reacting to. If it coincides with the introduction of solids, there could be something in his diet doing it.

If he's arching his back and thrashing around, his tummy probably hurts- not from overeating but from something hurting his tummy. If this was happening for a short period of time, say connected to teething or illness, then I'd say just ride it out. But most babies have at least one longer stretch of sleep that lasts 3-6 hours, and some 1-2 hour stretches in between. If he's literally never slept longer than one hour at a time his whole life, that probably indicates a problem.

:
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#7 of 10 Old 07-04-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Your nights sound like my days with my son. He would sleep exactly 30 mins at a time through the day and then start crying. At first I would nurse him back to sleep (he was barely awake so only took a min or two) and then he would sleep the rest of his nap (another 2.5 hours) on me. I stopped nursing him back to sleep when I realized he wasn't hungry he just wanted to be up on me (liked sleeping upright as apposed to lying flat I think was part of it). I was very frustrating to not get anything done (or just get lunch or go pee!!) but I did't want to disturb him because he needed the sleep. This went on all day long (he had two 3hr naps a day).

He liked the blanket I always kept with us when we nursed so I put that by him any time I put him down to sleep on his own. Eventually his 30 min steatches on his own turned into 45 mins, then an hour .... by around 4 months I would say he was sleeping the majority of his two 3 hour naps on his own - With no CIO, which everyone suggested!!! Then I kinda missed him sleeping on me all day

Maybe the nursing is disturbing him too much, maybe just rubbing his back or finding something else that might soothe him would help. We didn't co-sleep but the few times I put our son in with us to nurse he would always wake up after 15-20 mins crying with gas and spitting up because I would fall asleep and not burp him our pick him up to settle his tummy.

Hope you figure something out. I found time time worked for us ... that and disturbing him as little as possible to settle him back to sleep
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#8 of 10 Old 07-04-2008, 03:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by S&JsMom View Post
he arches his back continuously and thrashes a lot
Definitely have him evaluated for reflux!

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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#9 of 10 Old 07-04-2008, 08:01 PM
 
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hmm. Sounds like we have similar issues. I don't have any answers, but CIO is never an answer.
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#10 of 10 Old 07-04-2008, 08:02 PM
 
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Definitely have him evaluated for reflux!
My baby has reflux.
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