Not nursing, still not sleeping well... Now what? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 6 Old 08-21-2008, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dh has been able to put ds (almost 12 mo) to sleep for months now. The last week or two, dh has been sleeping with ds in a different room from me from 10-1ish... Ds is STILL waking every 45 minutes with dh. Then, waking every 45 minutes once he comes into the room with me (regardless of whether I nurse him, sing, cuddle, etc.).

The only thing we've managed to accomplish is each of us getting one long block of sleep. Ds is not sleeping any better.

So, what now?
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#2 of 6 Old 08-21-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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I'm honestly not being snide - I would relish the solid block you each get. DD wakes every 30 to 90 minutes generally and does one hour-long nurse-a-thon a night normally. I'm exhausted and she won't sleep with DH and won't accept not nursing.

I'd kill for one 3 hour block of sleep.

I think what you are doing seems like a good interim solution until LO is ready for longer sleep.
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#3 of 6 Old 08-21-2008, 08:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Veganone: I guess what I neglected to add to the post is that I have a 4yo dd who just nightweaned about 6 months ago (still day nursing 3-4 times) and still wakes at least once or twice at night. When you have one child, you're holding out hope that tonight will be the night they sleep longer. When you have another, you realize you could be looking at years of no sleep (not just months).

So, after 4 years of no sleep, I'm over it. I really want to start addressing this situation now, before it gets out of control (15-21 months is a really bad time for night-nursing for a lot of moms... then, when those 2 year molar come in... and don't get me started on nursing during pregnancy). We've worked really hard to get ds to the point of accepting comforting at bedtime and in the night from dh. I'm just confused as to why he won't take it further and sleep a little better.

I understand how you feel though... Any progress you hear from another mom makes you wonder what she has to complain about!
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#4 of 6 Old 08-21-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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I totally hear you - I honestly think we will only have one child because of the sleep issues. It's just so hard - I'm sorry that no one's sleeping well.

Is LO fussy when he wakes up? Maybe a medical cause?

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#5 of 6 Old 08-22-2008, 01:15 AM
 
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By that I mean, does he wake screaming, or is it discomfort kind of grunts or just flippity floppity (I believe that's the technical term)? My little guy kept waking screaming and we finally convinced our naturopathic doctor this was not a normal "phase" of sleeping badly and we determined he was having night terrors (wouldn't recognize us and we had the hardest time comforting him back to sleep, nursing or otherwise). She asked a few more questions and gave him a homeopathic call Stramonium, specifically a constitutional dose (one time big one). We were very skeptical that this could do anything. And miracles of miracles it worked! No more night terrors. I have no idea why, but it did and I don't question success.

We give him a supplemental dose of the homeopathic each night for terrors and teething issues (it never ends does it!) plus an herbal tincture called Melissa Supreme which helps him wind down (lots of energy, this one).

Plus we have to watch the foods he eats during the day (I am finally able to eat cheese again after 19 months, and he can't have dairy himself, or wheat, or corn, or eggs or nuts - or he's fussing at night).

In the meantime, lots of empathy and good thoughts your way. It took until this last month for us to get a few hour block, and now he actually gives us some bigger chunks and all I can say is maybe it's because we do all the above, plus he's older. I know, when my doctor said it would be over someday and he would outgrow some of the night stuff it was no consolation either - the thought of future sleep does absolutely nothing to help your deprivation at the time.

Keep trying and consult your doctor, especially if you can see a naturopathic one; there are herbal and homeopathic things (different ones to fit each child) to try and possible food sensitivities they can help you steer through.

Wife to my corkdork and loving momma to Rolly (1/07), 2 cats, Speedy the turtle, and little Bel (9/17/09)!
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#6 of 6 Old 08-22-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Well, all I think this shows is that nightweaning doesn't always mean the end of night waking. Sometimes the two are not connected.

Honestly, some babies wake more at night than others- just like some people.

good luck!



-Angela
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