How can I stop nagging my 11 yo?? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 5 Old 11-06-2009, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can hear myself doing it "Did you brush your teeth?" "Are you going to brush your hair?" "Get your bangs out of your eyes." "Do you have all your stuff?"

How do I stop?? Maybe I should get an electric zapper and zap myself everytime I do it. But seriously, how can I stop doing it??
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#2 of 5 Old 11-06-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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Just stop?

I know it sounds silly, but you are aware you are doing it, so literally - bite your tongue. I'm 27 and my mom still does it. Drives me boinkers!

If you absolutely have to ask - take a breath, count to ten and be careful with your tone.

Good luck!

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#3 of 5 Old 11-07-2009, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm trying! I have a hard time biting my tongue. But I managed not to ask her if she had her water bottle last night after swim practice. And guess what, she had it!

I'm going to do the count to 10 thing.

I think part of this is I need to let go and let her be more responsible for her things.
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#4 of 5 Old 11-07-2009, 07:13 PM
 
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I find it helps to think through what I'm saying and what the possible outcomes are if I just stay quiet.

For example with the water bottle, what would be the worst possible outcome of her not taking it? She might be very thirsty, which might help her remember it next time, which would end up being a good thing for her in the long run.

Other things, like bangs in eyes and brushing hair fall into a different catagory -- she might look messy, which would....???? make me look like a bad mother? If you were ever a fan of the TV show Friends, I find it helpful to think of Monica's mothers and how it was a running joke that that she was still saying these kinds of things to her daughter, even though her daughter was grown. I don't want to sound like Monica's mother, which has helped me make peace with my DDs' having different ideas of what their hair should look like before they leave the house.

but everything has pros and consĀ  shrug.gif

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#5 of 5 Old 11-13-2009, 11:40 PM
 
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I made a chart for her room...every since then, I've nagged about 75% less than before!

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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