Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: now back in Europe
Mentioned: 57 Post(s)
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yes i have ... i've been told off by my eldest for saying "Hello" and asking how her day went the minute she passes the door returning from high school; she explained that i MUST wait for a bit before presuming she's available to talk with me .... quite often ... she's not necessarily in a better mood later on (and i worry i'm going to forget to check there are no papers i need to sign or information i should know ...).
Basically, the best time for talking with my eldest teenager is when walking somewhere to do whatever (= not face to face nor "on purpose") AND when SHE has something to ask me anyway or something she wants to tell me ... only THEN ... am i able to "place in an acceptable way to her" whatever topic i had in mind to bring up ...
My second teen is a boy, communication is different ... not the same subjects to start with & he's not so oppositional to me anyway ....
The youngest is not yet a teen ... but copies her elder sister way of talking to me generally ... and i find that HARD !
Am trying not to over-react ... but not always succeeding ... it is hard to find the right balance (= i expected more respect, .... but i still want to be approachable ... so cannot always react as angry as i feel ...)