Anyone out there expecting # 4 and freaking out..??? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 12:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey there all... I am such a lurker.. usually just wallowing around in here soaking up the mama information...
BUT>>>> I have been wanting to post for some time... I am expecting #4 in Novemer... I will have 4 kids 6 and under... Holy wow I am freaking out as to how I am going to get all of them the attention they need and want and how I am going to split myself in enough pieces since I am already stretched. How do you mamas do it out there???What give you inspiration..?? I am getting very discouraged and worried about this..
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#2 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 01:58 AM
 
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I am having #4 as well and though mine are older, it's still a huge worry! As it is, I can barely find the time, attention, and energy sometimes to get them all doing homework, brushing their teeth, flushing the toilet, etc.. My oldest requires so much extra time because of his disorder, and my youngest is just plain stubborn so he requires more time as well. Hopefully this baby is easy-going!

Yet, part of me has been SO zen about all of this. I think partly because I am always looking to the future. I tell my friends who cannot believe I wanted another baby that someday it all won't matter and what will matter is that my "inconvenience" today is a big, supportive family tomorrow.

My boys will always have each other and I'll have them bringing their families home to see me, loving me, calling me and my husband, etc.. Sounds selfish? This is important to me as, growing up, family wasn't important to us. We did the obligatory holidays, but my brother and I hated each other and still in our 30s are strangers. I never had a supportive sibling. I wasn't bonded enough with my grandmother to be with her as she was dying. I dread when my parents get old because I don't feel close enough to them to give the energy for their care... And it truly bothers me. It deeply saddens me!

Family is SO important to me now and I think that carries me through. So I am not perfect, but we do our best and overall have some pretty good kids!

Somehow, it will work! You'll make it work and you won't even know how you did it before #4, you know?

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#3 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 08:03 AM
 
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Hey mama! I understand your worries....I will have 4 kids under 4! Even to type it sounds insane. I think what I keep in perspective is that most of the time things will not go as planned so why plan? I think going with the flow of each individual day is the best way to go. I am still learning this....I am mostly freaked out about sleeping situations as my 1 year old and 3 year old arent great sleepers and still co-sleep. We have to make that transition soon. I agree with GinaRae so much-there is something so wonderful about this as well. I think of all 4 of them close together, learning and exploring together,helping each other,playing together,relying on one another as their support because they are indeed so close. I too think of the future and see what may seem chaotic now will be so amazing to have FOUR children that grow and have a hopefully close relationship as a result of their closeness in age. I think the good wins over any uncertainty in this case. We'll make it....we have great support too here in this DDC...I think there are a few of us in the #4 club....we'll just have to keep in touch!
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#4 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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I'm expecting #3 and #4. My oldest will be 4 not long after the twins are born, and my DD will be 2 in August.

Freaking out? Just a little!

Catholic Homeschooling mama to DS (6), DD (4), twin DDs (2), DD (7 months), and someone new 7/31/10!
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#5 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 01:05 PM
 
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Well, I am actually having my 7th--with my oldest being 12! :

My advice is don't sweat the small stuff. It will all come and work out just fine.

The more you worry about it and try to figure it out, the bigger an issue it will become.

Jessica-
college student and mama to 7 kiddos!
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#6 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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Expecting #4 here too...a little freaked out. My kids are older than yours, so I'm ASSUMING they'll be really helpful....hope that's not wishful thinking....

I have so many mixed emotions, but freaked out is definitely one of them.
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#7 of 12 Old 06-07-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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I'm expecting #4, I will have 4 under 6 as well. :-)
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#8 of 12 Old 06-10-2007, 07:20 PM
 
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#4 coming here as well...

They will be 7.5, 5.5, and almost 3 when the baby arrives.

We shall see....

Grace - photographer, wife and mom to 4 great kids (Ethan 5.00, Ainsley 4.02, Owen 12.04, and Ellis Ann 10.07) :
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#9 of 12 Old 06-11-2007, 10:20 AM
 
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Count me in on expecting #4!

We were wanting just one more. (I cannot have anymore due to my Heart Condition). So we figured we would try right away and well, get it over with. I am very weak while prego and I get hit real hard. So we got pregnant right away! As always!

Than about 1wk after finding out I became terrified, and angry? I guess my clock was so strong that I forgot to think about all that would take.

We will have 4 under 7. But our youngest will be just 2 when the baby arrives. None of my childern have slept through the night before 3. The youngest in still nursing a ton at night and refuses to let DH take him.: I am sooooooooo tired and I want sleep sooooooo bad!: Our third is a VERY challenging and demanding child. Really words cannot explain the frustration it is!

Anyway, I have no idea how I am going to keep sane with a newborn, and my demanding nursing toddler??? I am so scarred that I will not be able to do it. I want to be the best mom and I think now, but too late, we should have waited and let ds 3 grow up more first. I hope that the new baby gets all the love I have, and not take away from my other boys on the process.

I have not enjoyed a day of this pregnancy, due to my fears, guilt, sickness, and all our $$ issues.

I really want to since this is our last. I hope the emotions let up soon.:
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#10 of 12 Old 06-15-2007, 01:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all you mamas....

Nice to know i have company on this journey..
My oldest is turning 6 on Saturday and I can hardly believe it.. I guess it really does fly by before I know it all 4 will be doing their own family thing. I am excited on a level but very very freaked out still.. I just feel like I barely have time to brush my teeth as it is.... let alone shower before 11/12.

GinaRae- those are my sentiments exactly...Dh and I both wanted a big family to surround ourselves with. We do have alot on our plate right now though.. we just moved and he started a new job with lots of travel and hours... still trying to sell our old house.. lots of stress.. it just makes it hard to enjoy this pg..
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#11 of 12 Old 06-15-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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Hi everyone! I just wanted to add a Me Too!

We've got an 11 year old, a 3 1/2 year old (be 4 right after baby comes), and a nearly 2 year old. I have a lot of concerns. But dh keeps reminding me that I was worried about that last time too, and it went a lot better than expected. My biggest worries are mostly night time, my youngest now doesn't yet sleep well. He's gotten a lot better, but I'm alone at night (dh works nights), so if I'm nursing baby, I just plain can't go spend 40 minutes in with him. And if he gets really mad, his yelling wakes the 3 year old (they share a room), then I'm really screwed. So we're spending this time to work on sleep schedules to try and avoid issues.

Also, that same little one is very possessive of me, so I'm just hoping that he adjusts well.

It's scary, but we figure that the hard part is just for a few years, then we'll all be adjusted. And everyone I know with big families says it's not as bad as it seems, so for all our sakes hopefully their right!
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#12 of 12 Old 06-18-2007, 02:29 PM
 
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We thought we were adding a 4th, but it turned out we were also adding a 5th as well!! I freak out a little bit at times thinking about it, especially since I plan to exlusively bf these twins. We will end up with 5 kids, 4 and under. : I know the beginning is going to be really hard, but after about 6 months, it should be getting easier. I am just excited for the future and having all my kids so close in age together...my first three are all the best of friends and adore each other to pieces. Regardless of all the craziness we have gone through these last few years, its been such a joy as well and we can't wait to see the dynamics that these twins will add to our busy house!
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