Who Is Attending Your Birth? Any Changes from Previous Births (if you've had any)? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 06-15-2008, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
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I saw a similar thread in the July DDC, and I thought it would be a good idea for our DDC, too!

At dd's birth (an early surprise), in addition to the hospital folks, just DH and I were in the room for the pushing and delivery. Both of my parents and DH's mom were in the room before and after.
At ds's birth (another early surprise), it was me, DH, and my mom for everything. My dad was there afterward, and his mom came the next day.
This time, I think I want it to be just DH and me from the moment we arrive at the hospital until the day after the baby is born. We would make arrangements for my friend to keep the kids, and would start notifying family and friends the next day (probably family the day after and friends after we are home). This is out of a desire for much needed privacy and bonding time while we establish a breastfeeding relationship, plus time for me to rest and recover. I really want to avoid the constant stream of visitors during those first few days and have a quiet babymoon
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#2 of 11 Old 06-15-2008, 09:31 PM
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At dd's birth I had planned on dh and my mom being there (in addition to hospital staff). His mom nosed her way in while was in transition and stayed through the birth (still angry over that one and dd will be 9 tomorrow). I had a *lot* of visitors the next day, though.

At ds1's birth I had planned on dh and my mom being there (in addition to hospital staff). They were the only ones present for the birth. I didn't have very many visitors because I lived in a different city than family--it seems like my dad visited, my grandma, MIL, and dd (of course).

At ds2's birth I planned on dh and my mom being there (in addition to hospital staff). They were the only ones there for *that* birth. I did have several visitors the next day.

At this birth (at my mom's house) I'm planning on my dh, my mom, the kids (if they want to be there), two close friends, as well as my midwife and her assistant, who is also a close friend of mine. Depending on how long we stay at mom's after the birth we might have to deal with some visitors but since we have livestock at home I figure that we'll head home as soon as it is comfortable to do so.

At home we're in the country so the only visitors we'll have is MIL. Unfortunately she's rude, obnoxious, doesn't call first, and overstays her welcome. I'm not looking forward to dealing with that. What's more, I am sure that she'll want to be over more often to "help" with the kids, which isn't helpful since she thinks that kids need to be yelled at and threatened with spanking in order to 'control' them.

Homesteading Mama to homeschoolin' kiddos London (10) ; Alexander (8) :; Holden (5) :; and Sergei born at home 8/18/08
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#3 of 11 Old 06-15-2008, 09:36 PM
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this is our first pregnancy, and our plan is to have a UC with just DH and I (well, and baby! ).

after the birth, we're going to call my parents and ILs and then make arrangements for them to come and visit the baby. my parents will come first, then his parents. we'll have them come on separate days, only staying for a brief time (2-3 hours, tops). both sets of grandparents have agreed to this.

then, we'll set up a time for others to come over (an open house) a few weeks later and announce that through website, blog, and email.
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#4 of 11 Old 06-15-2008, 10:50 PM
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My husband and my doula. Possibly my mom. I plan to birth at the hospital so my midwife, L&D nurse, etc. will also be there.
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#5 of 11 Old 06-15-2008, 11:36 PM
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For my first son, I had a lot of family in the room during labor, but just dh for delivery (and med staff.)

For my second son, I planned on including MIL and my mom in the delivery, but it went so fast neither of them was there. Just DH and med staff.

For this birth, I'd again like MIL and mom to attend if they'd like to, but was told I can only have 2 people with me. So it might be just dh and my mom if she makes it on time. Sorry MIL!

I'm Deborah, mama to Aidan, 11/02, Sean, 9/04 (my T21 SuperBoy), and Eleanor, 8/08.
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#6 of 11 Old 06-16-2008, 10:15 PM
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This is baby #6 so I won't give you the rundown on all the previous attendants. For THIS birth, I am planning on having my DH, my bestfriend who is flying in to stay till baby comes, a doula if we need her, and another friend.
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#7 of 11 Old 06-17-2008, 01:29 AM
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At DD's birth, it was just DH and I. THat was the plan even if I didn't have a c-section. This time around its DH and one of my roller derby team mates - who just finished her OB rotation. She is actually going to be assisting my doc!
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#8 of 11 Old 06-17-2008, 01:43 AM
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For DS it was just DH and I (and hospital staff) and this time I plan for the same, except my DS can come around as often as he would like...not sure how much I want the MW and apprentice involved, certainly after either my DH or I have caught the baby I would like their assistance, but I think we will try to do as much as we can on our own.

Nurse and mother to two beautiful boys, William 06/07/06, George 08/27/08, and our newest addition John Bear, born 9/20/10! Married to my lovely dh for 10 years on 06/04/10!
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#9 of 11 Old 06-17-2008, 02:06 AM
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I had my mom and dh with my first. I had emergency complications and so did baby. 2 midwives as well. Then everyone on the floor. My dh and mom could have used someone to spell them off during labour. My dh and mom also could have used the support afterwards. The hospital chaplin? came and spent some time with everyone which was really nice.

This time I will add a doula. I think it is better to have more support if needed. If not anyone who is wanting to can step back or out if needed. I think this birth will be hard for dh and maybe my mom as well because of the scary complications with dd and myself. I want them to know they can have the time and space to process everything if needed. My dd will also be there during part of or all of labour/birth. It depends what time of day I go into labour. So she will need attention and the doula can focus on me.

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#10 of 11 Old 06-17-2008, 02:23 AM
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Oh yes, big changes...I was SO not into the "rah rah" team that came last time(my SIL and my friend..) so this time, I am not calling ANYONE except my doula and midwife until my contractions are like 1 minute apart..lol..and then it is my mom and dad and his mom and dad-ONLY

And they won't come up to bother me while I am birthing, I just want them to be there for the birth of their grandchildren. It is important to me that they be there, since it is something I can always tell the kids, even when they are not around anymore(and in hopes I will get an invite when THEY have children! LOL)

And my midwife will probably bring an assistant, so with the 2 midwifes, my doula(Jaime!!! Who is a mama here on MDC!! ), my husband and my daughter in the birthing room(in my HOUSE) we will be full up! Then add in 4 grandparents and it fills the house pretty well...

And as for the babymoon..it's funny, I didn't find many people came to visit us. When my sister had her baby at the hospital, she couldn't get a moment's rest. Me? I had maybe 5 visitors in the week after Lea was born..and it was mostly repeats from the birth! LOL

So I think that people have a stigma with visiting a homebirth? So I am VERY happy about that..lol

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#11 of 11 Old 06-17-2008, 02:50 AM
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Last time when my DD was born in hospital it was just my DH, MW, nurse A, Nurse B (who offered to take pictures) and the random nurse that would come in to see if anyone needed anything. My mom came about 2hrs before my DD was born after we called her to tell her that we were DEFINATLY having the baby today. She was awesome and never even asked to come into the birth, we found out she was there from the nurse after my DD was born! About 1hr after she was born we invited my mom into meet her. It worked out well. She stayed for awhile and then went home. About 4hrs after she was born around 6am or so my ILS came to visit for about 1hr and then my husbands siblings each came for an hr or so in the early AM. NO one else visited us at the hospital so it was just right.

This time we are at home. My mom will be around watching my DD and then I will have my MW and MWs assistant. I am debating asking "someone" not sure who still to be my dedicated photographer, but they have to be the type of person who can be seen but not heard. I really don't even want to notice they are in the room. After the birth depending upon how bfing is going and how I feel we will invite my ILs and husbands siblings over to visit during the next day. If things are too hectic we will call and tell them about the birth but ask that they wait to stop by and give them the reason that we really need this time to get BFing right and get some rest. They will understand (I hope) . The one thing that is nice about my husbands side when it comes to stuff like this is that they really are not ones to stay long for visits and usually get the hint that it is time to go. That is so unlike my side of the family, they will easily overstay their welcome if allowed!!!:

Mountain Biking bikenew.gifMama of 3 little beans, .      Epumped 1pump.gif 22mths for dd1 (2006) notes.gif
Nursed fly-by-nursing1.gifmy homebirth.jpg babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrsbouncy.gif. We survived a major nursing strike.

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