Planning on circumcising... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 08-24-2015, 02:33 PM
 
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GRR, I hit a wrong button and my post poofed!
Anyway. My intact boy is 14.5 years old. I did not want my boy circ'd, but I left it up to his father, who I finally split with 2 years after my son was born. The father said "leave him the way Nature made him", though the father was circumcised.

He was born emergency C-section in a hospital. The doctor who signed our release papers recommended circumcision. Because my son's pee-hole did not match up with the foreskin hole, and while my boy was medically fine (he could pee without problems), the doctor thought he might have retraction/sexual issues when that time came. What gave me pause was this doctor had 3 intact sons and he did not think, usually, that circ was a good idea. But he did say that my son could have circ done as an office visit, 3 years down the road, if any problems arose.
I said I'd wait.
My son found his "toy" around 8 months old. It was pretty much fully retractable by age 3, and I decided not to have him circ'd. I figured he could have that done later, if he chose.
He is super happy he is intact. He thinks it's barbaric to cut people's body parts off, especially without permission.
He and his first girlfriend just broke up-- in 8th grade, they had a long (for 8th grade) time together-- almost 6 months. They did not have intercourse, but they did other things, and she was apparently pretty enthusiastic about those other things, from what he said to me. Which means Not Grossed Out by a foreskin.
It's easy to care for. When ds was little, if it hurt, which it occasionally did...like I'm sure that on plenty of occasions, he got like one grain of sand in there-- he sat in a couple inches of lukewarm water for awhile, in the tub. Almost always took care of the problem. I think I had to put Neosporin on there once or twice, but forgot why.

Yes, from what I understand, the glans of the penis is supposed to be a mucous membrane, like the inside of the mouth, or the vagina. The foreskin is its protection. That's why the circumcised penis-head is harder and not wet-looking, because it doesn't have its covering anymore, and toughens up.

My boy is 14 now, like I said, and he's fine and happy and retractable. I ain't getting down there to see if stinky, even if he'd let me, LOL! But he knows how to clean. No soap, OW, just rinse in the water.

Oh, and as for looking like dad: They aren't a set of matching china. Tell the boy when he's asking questions that know better, do better. Dad can say that when he was a baby, he had that surgery, but dad decided to let the boy decide for himself when he gets older.

I'm also of the mind that it's not any of your brother's business. At all. He should find out what state the baby's penis is in only if he is changing a diaper! THEN he can ask questions

HTH!

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#32 of 43 Old 08-25-2015, 10:05 AM
 
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Congratulations! I see you already have come to a decision, I just wanted to add a couple things that might be helpful.

One, in terms of the issue of cleanliness, when we were making this decision it helped me to remember that the substance that develops under the foreskin and needs to be cleaned is smegma. The same substance that develops between a girl's labia. So by default, if we are considering this "dirty" or disgusting, that really applies to both genders. When I thought about that, I realized it doesn't make sense that I can teach my daughter to clean herself but not my son. They're all smart capable kids who can take a few seconds to rinse themselves in the bath or shower.
And second, as far as the matching issue, my son has never noticed that Daddy looks different than him except to point out that Daddy is much bigger. haha. I anticipate at some point we will explain circumcision, but it's not something they seem to notice as kids.
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#33 of 43 Old 08-25-2015, 10:44 AM
 
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I have 4 sons and another boy on his way. My 15 & 12 year olds have never been made fun of for not being circumcised. It just has never been an issue. These days, there are so many boys NOT being cut that it really shouldn't be a reason to do it. There is some info out there that 117 boys die from complications to circumcision every year. I don't know how many suffer from permanent damage.
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#34 of 43 Old 08-25-2015, 10:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swedishmaiden View Post
One, in terms of the issue of cleanliness, when we were making this decision it helped me to remember that the substance that develops under the foreskin and needs to be cleaned is smegma. The same substance that develops between a girl's labia. So by default, if we are considering this "dirty" or disgusting, that really applies to both genders
I recall that smegma has a purpose, though I can't remember exactly what it's for. Lubrication? I don't remember. But yeah, just rinse it out. My son has accidentally used soap under his foreskin and regretted it-- says it stings. Ow!

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#35 of 43 Old 08-25-2015, 12:12 PM
 
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Smegma is for lubrication. It is not smelly if it is fresh but if you do not wash for several days it will almost turn sour and if I understand correctly sometimes teenage boys might have a slight over production of this because of the hormone change and everything so it might be a slight issue then but not when they are adults. They should wash but not too often and avoid soap although some men seem to tolerate it (my husband uses soap maybe every 3 days).
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#36 of 43 Old 08-28-2015, 12:32 AM
 
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Wink

No, you should not! Why mutilate a unconcenting child? Let him schoose when he gets old enough. It's a increased risk of autism, later problems with sex, and even death after the procedure. I don't know why parents even consider this.
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#37 of 43 Old 08-28-2015, 05:44 AM
 
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A few things...

Why do we consider cutting the genitals of our boys but recoil at the thought of cutting our girls? Why do we believe that babies do not feel pain, when does the switch come on that they do feel pain? Why would a boy's foreskin be expendable but not a girls? (yes, females have them too) If you do not own your own body, what do you own?

On the idea of washing...the foreskin/glans is similar to the eye/eye ball; the skin is mucosa. Can you imagine using soap on your eye? Soap disrupts the normal/natural flora of the system it's being introduced to. If there is an infection, soap is not the answer; normalizing, balancing the flora of the area/system/overall body is. We are covered in all kinds of bacteria. When the balance of the system is off, then we can be overcome by infections of pathogenic organisms.

There is no system in place for keeping track of harms of circumcision. There are estimates of how many babies die, there are "studies" that claim this "side effect" or that one. There is no universal death certificate check box to indicate that the dead child was recently circumcised. Conversely, a death will be labeled sepsis or hemorrhage without saying that that is the *result* of the cutting. I remember a young child, he was 3 I think, who died in the last few years after being cut. He reacted to the anesthesia. It was blamed on that rather than the *reason* for the medicine. If he hadn't been put under to cut off a fully functional normal part of his genitalia, he'd be alive today.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire

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#38 of 43 Old 09-14-2015, 07:51 AM
 
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About not looking like his father or some of the other boys: My son's question that led me to explain circumcision was, "Some boys at school have a round thing on their penis. When will I have that?" When I asked about what he meant, he explained that Daddy has this round thing so he expected he would have it by the time he grew up, and then he noticed some boys at school had it who were a little older than himself. I realized that the thing he meant was the ridge around the head of the penis, so I explained that he does have one but it's hidden by this skin covering, and some boys including Daddy had an operation when they were born to cut off some of their skin. He was horrified and since then has repeatedly thanked us for deciding he didn't need that operation. Here's more about our circumcision decision. I'm so glad you decided to keep your baby intact!!
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#39 of 43 Old 09-16-2015, 05:17 AM
 
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I'm super-late to this, but regarding your brother, OP, he chose to be circumcised at the age of 16, and he cannot get his foreskin back, so you have to understand he is highly motivated to believe that his circumcised penis is now superior. Of course he wouldn't admit regret.

My oldest is 11 and he noticed that his dad's penis looked different when he was very young - like 4. I explained that they cut Daddy's off when he was a baby, and my son was horrified and in no way wanted to be circumcised. The idea that the child will be upset to not be circumcised is actually a psychological defense mechanism that the circumcised father chooses to believe - when it is really going to play out the opposite way.

We live in the midwest and there are plenty of uncircumcised boys - my boys have never felt weird. We have of course explained the difference ahead of time so that they wouldn't have even a minute of weird feelings or wanting to be circumcised. Once a little boy figures out how fun his foreskin is, he does not want to get it cut off. I am willing to bet that your parents' weirdness about certain issues directly contributed to your brother's unhappiness. In our family, we are very open and have explained in age-appropriate ways that genitals are fun and feel tickly and are supposed to be that way.

As to cleaning and care, there is none. Our kids became retractable between 3 and 7 and you just rinse it off in the shower or bath.
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#40 of 43 Old 09-24-2015, 07:01 PM
 
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I'm so glad you decided to keep your baby intact!
My dh is intact and we were vigins when we got married. He never really retracted before, so it did hurt the first time. But it wasn't any worse than a girls first time, things got loosened up and everything was normal by the second or third time. So you really shouldn't worry about that.
Also the clean thing... If you had a girl you would have talked to her about washing herself right. I see it as no different. Really it's just a parental responsibility. It's awkward but there are things you just have to talk to your kids about... Sex, hygiene, periods... Not fun, but necessary to keep them healthy.

Also, I'm in California too and worked in childcare too. I have seen way more intact diaper changes than cut.
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#41 of 43 Old 09-28-2015, 07:21 PM
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WHAT IS LOST TO CIRCUMCISION:
About 50% of the penile skin. The double layered foreskin (prepuce), along with the rest of the shaft skin, is a mobile skin system that can freely move up and down the penile shaft, even during an erection.
The Pleasurable Sensations of the “Ridged Bands.” This ½ inch wide bands of tissue at the tip of the foreskin is the most highly innervated and erogenous part of the penis. The loss of this tissue along with the adjacent sensitive frenulum, reduces a man’s pleasure and full range of sexual response.
The foreskin’s Gliding action. This is the hallmark mechanical feature of the natural human penis. The non-abrasive gliding of the penis in and out of its own sheath of skin facilitates smooth, comfortable, pleasurable intercourse for both partners.
The Comfortof a covered glans. The foreskin’s inner mucosal tissue provides a warm, moist, protective covering for the sensitive glans. The glans of the circumcised penis becomes dry and calloused from exposure to air and rubbing against clothing.
Choice. A man who was circumcised as an infant has lost his right to an intact, normal, and whole penis and the right to control what happens to his own body.
BOTTOMLINE: HIS PENIS, ONLY HIS CHOICE!
Men (and women) who are allowed as children to keep their whole, intact, normal genitalia, DON’T choose to amputate parts as adults! Please protect your son’s penis from an unnecessary, unethical and harmful surgical amputation. Best regards and many blessings to All perfectly born intact little boys.
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#42 of 43 Old 10-04-2015, 06:39 AM
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I confirm that the above accurately reflects my before/after experience.

Going through life with a permanently exposed "knob" is a daily inconvenience, to be understatingly polite, relative to the comfort and enjoyment of a natural foreskin.

My experience very much exposes what a rediculous practice this is - with real danger of serious and irreversable damage both physically and psycologically. It can make a man permanently frustrated or ill at ease with himself in 'that department'. Thats no way to be made to go through life.

No man, who has a healthy foreskin, would freely and willingly choose to have it amputated. They know how precious and irreplaceable it is in their lives. Just as no woman would offer her genitals to be mutilated.
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#43 of 43 Old 10-09-2015, 12:31 PM
 
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I followed a very simple guideline on this - It's not my penis, therefore, it's not my decision to make.

The discussion of cleanliness is disturbing to me. Boys need to be taught how to properly clean themselves. Just like girls. We don't remove the labia because it's "hard to clean them", we teach proper hygiene.
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