Stay at Home Parents? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 16 Old 07-21-2008, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi!

So, we are having our first child in January. Currently, DH works a couple days at a deli and is also a massage therapist just starting his own practice. We have decided that when the baby comes, he'll be (mostly) a SAHD, as I am currently the main breadwinner. What we are thinking is Mon-Th, he'll stay at home, and I'll work 10 hour days, so I can have Fri off, to watch the baby while he works at the deli on Friday and Saturday.

But what I'm wondering is, what are some things that you do as a SAHP to keep yourself sane, organized and as content as possible for your position? I'm an obsessive knowledge type person, and want all sorts of info, even if its for DH and not necessarily for me.

So shoot your info to me!

Kathy Soup
Loving wife to an amazing SAHD : Mommy to Aviendha 01/19/09
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#2 of 16 Old 07-21-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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i stay at home. when i am "fit" and the weather is good i walk with my children to local playgrounds- either on school grounds or parks, we watch movies, have friends with other children come play with us.
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#3 of 16 Old 07-21-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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I work PT as a chiropractor, and the key to staying sane is to get OUT every day. Even if it's just a trip to target, getting out and interacting with other people is key. playdates, parks, walks... and wireless internet.

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#4 of 16 Old 07-21-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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DH is a SAHD. The kids go to the wading pool, zoo, park, and OMSI. Oh yeah the library has great baby book times too. When DS was little we went to an AP group and then joined a mama's group that was in our area. DH was welcome when I returned to work.

DH tends to be a poorly motivated person and not very organized and since I work a lot it is hard to do all the organizing and work. He is pretty good at the min to min stuff but not too far out. This was fine with 1 but is much more difficult with 2.
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#5 of 16 Old 07-22-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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get a schedule planned. For us, on Mon we have AP playgroup, Tues we do library reading group, one day a week we make bread, we go on an outing/adventure (OMSI, zoo, cm2...) another day, and we also enjoy taking classes at the comm center. For me if I don't have structured activities that we can go to then I get stuck in a 'funk' and turn into mommyzilla (which is not a good thing!). If there aren't any of these activities around your dh to join then start some! And it doesn't matter how young your LO is... we always love to see little newborns at our groups and gatherings and it is great for the parents to hang out regardless of the childs age.
Congrats on the new addition to your family and the best of luck to all of you!

Mama to my three little loveys and living the good life in the beautiful Pacific North West 
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#6 of 16 Old 07-22-2008, 01:00 PM
 
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Cleaning house, planning meals, grocery shopping, seeing friends and family, going to the park, going to places like the zoo/museums/fun stuff for the kids, renting a lot of movies, playing with the kids, reading (a lot), having an online community, really knowing about all the local stuff to do is important, finding groups of other parents (there are dad's groups, I think a dad hiking group in PDX). Going on family trips together - even just a day trip to the beach. Spend as much time together as possible. Always sit down and talk. It's easy to get into parenting land, and forget how to interact with adults. Make sure to take time to take care of yourself (showering, eating, normal stuff). I remember when I first had my daughter, and finding it hard to even get meals for myself. I remember thinking, "No one warned me about this!"

Honestly, cleaning/cooking/taking care of the kids takes up most of the day. By the time you've cooked breakfast and cleaned it up, it's time for lunch, then you have to plan for dinner, make it, eat it, then get everyone ready for bed. It takes much longer to do these things when you have kids

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#7 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 12:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the great hints, mommas!

What about what I can do for DH when I get home? What can I do as the not SAHP that your partner does, or wish they would do, when they get home from work?

Kathy Soup
Loving wife to an amazing SAHD : Mommy to Aviendha 01/19/09
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#8 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 12:28 PM
 
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give the stay at home parents a little break.... my dh never gives me a break and its one thing i need.... i am literally going insane with two kids on my hips all day long and the one inside of me causing pain issues... 30 minute to an hour break just to recoup would be such a god sent...
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#9 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 01:51 PM
 
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YES YES YES!
It would be SO nice if when my dh got home from work he would (willingly!) spend 1/2 hour playing with the kids while I had some time alone.... to go for a walk, take a bath/shower, read in my room, even start dinner w/o two kids hanging onto my ankles. I feel like our evenings together could be much more productive if I was able to have some regrouping time after a long day spent with the kids. And it is nice for the kids also to have a change of parenting and be able to spend some quality daddy time after all day with mom. I would love for this to be a planned and expected part of our every day schedule!!!

Mama to my three little loveys and living the good life in the beautiful Pacific North West 
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#10 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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Give him some alone time, or ask him what he needs to do. If you need to do something as soon as you get home, say that you need to do xyz and then you'll watch the baby for a bit so he can do whatever he needs to do. I know there have been nights where I try not to get upset that my husband goes to the garage, and doesn't come out for an hour after he gets home, but I still do. Some days are hard as a SAHP, and it can be quite lonely. It's also great to make sure to spend some time all together. Eating dinner, playing a game, talking, reading, etc. It helps to keep everyone connected.

Nicole | Mom to Ciara & Oliver | Finally living aboard & loving it!
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#11 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your new wee family member!

You know what my absolute favorite thing is after a long day at home with the kids? When my DH or MIL (who is living with us for the time being) walk in the door after work & take the baby right out of my arms & start talking to/entertaining/and or diaper changing my 2 yr old. Wow, my entire body heaves a huge sigh of relief. To just have body space, the ability to stand up straight & do my tasks without baby weight or a toddler circling my ankles-- glorious.

My 2nd favorite thing is getting to take a shower- uninterrupted. Ahh, that is also glorious.

To "stay sane" & organized etc., I really just take my making of a home seriously. I use schedules & binders & lists & structure & run the house like a semi- business, albeit a very laugh filled & flexible one. I have 4 kids though and we homeschool so we have a pretty busy schedule. I always have projects going either homeschooling, gardening, food preservation or some kind of deep organization deal. I cook our foods from scratch & moderate a homeschool list & run a games day & other junk like that so I keep pretty busy. It's not hard at all to fill one's entire day with baby care & basic housework! I don't think your dh will have a very hard time with that.

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#12 of 16 Old 07-24-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiromama View Post
I work PT as a chiropractor, and the key to staying sane is to get OUT every day. Even if it's just a trip to target, getting out and interacting with other people is key. playdates, parks, walks... and wireless internet.
this was all so true as a baby... as a 3yo preschooler, it's much harder, making me wish i had these connections all set up... but by 2, people were so always on their own, vs. wanting to get together... and kids get harder about wanting to go out (mine does, anyway). the moms i know with babies think it's hard to get out, it is easier with a baby!! use that time!
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#13 of 16 Old 07-25-2008, 04:11 AM
 
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For me, the key to staying home has been contact with other adults during the day. The days that I get together with another mom and our kids all play together go really fast. Or times when we have company staying with us, or days where I took the kids to my parents' place, or DH's parents place (we live far from family now) were really easy.

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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#14 of 16 Old 07-25-2008, 02:58 PM
 
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there are dad's groups, I think a dad hiking group in PDX
My DH needs something like this. Where can I find out about the hiking group (or other groups)? Any links??

Karen love.gif James -- DS drum.gif (2/07) DD baby.gif (11/05/10) angel1.gif (9/05) (10/09)
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#15 of 16 Old 07-25-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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My DH needs something like this. Where can I find out about the hiking group (or other groups)? Any links??
Found 'em! Outdoor Dads.

Nicole | Mom to Ciara & Oliver | Finally living aboard & loving it!
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#16 of 16 Old 07-25-2008, 08:35 PM
 
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Found 'em! Outdoor Dads.
Thank you!

Karen love.gif James -- DS drum.gif (2/07) DD baby.gif (11/05/10) angel1.gif (9/05) (10/09)
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