My home pregnancy test was definitely positive, but I find myself still not believing I'm actually pregnant, you know? Then, I get a sudden fear that I'm NOT pregnant, and I want to go buy another test, but I'm terrified it'll say negative! WTF?
I already told everyone at work, told all my family, which is fine, and if I were to miscarry, I would want their support, so I dont regret telling them. But for some completely illogical reason, I have this fear that I'll just be "not pregnant" and not have a miscarriage either.
I know, this makes no flipping sense.
Maybe when I start feeling symptoms then these weird thoughts will go away. I also have this intense fear of my first appt...I know I need an ultrasound because I'm not sure of my dates (breastfeeding), but I'm so afraid there won't be a baby. Or my blood work will be negative.
Sigh...maybe this is my first symptom...irrational hormone-induced fears! Every day that goes by and I sitll don't have my period, I feel slightly better, but I definitely don't have the excited feeling I had with my other two.
I might be losing my mind!
I too am bf and we caught the first egg before my ppaf started. I am pretty sure of my o date. I made my first appointment for this Monday and figured that they would do a u/s to date the pregnancy. Though I don't like to overdo the u/s, I was looking forward to it this time because I hoped it would make everything more real for me and reassure me if we were able to see a heartbeat (I should be just 6 wks). They specifically told me that they were not going to do a u/s, though.
Anyway, just wanted to tell you that you're not alone!
I believe I'm pg (or was!), but not that I'll have an actual baby.
I have my first appointment Tuesday, and I find myself wishing beyond realistic hope that they will offer me an u/s. I KNOW they won't, but I want it so much I even catch myself thinking, well I'll feel better after my appointment. Why would I? There isn't anything they are going to do that will convince me that I have a living baby growing still inside me.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Maybe it will help you to hear that a LOT of moms who are growing Number 3 have a lot more fears then in previous pregnancies. And you have surely lost your innocence in regard to the fact that things can go a different way then anticipated, considering your ds's extra needs. I think it is understandable that you are feeling this way.
proud mama to: DD (8/02), DS (12/03), DS (11/06), DS (9/09) and EDD 11/1
We had been trying for a few months and now I find myselft wondering what the heck we were thinking... ds and dd are old enough that they don't require constant supervision, I've given away most of my diaper stash and baby clothing, finances suck, I'm in the midst of a job search... So many mixed emotions - happy, sad, frustrated, excited, exhausted, terrified...
I'm sure it will level out, just trying to ride it out until them. I'm reminded of the scene in the movie "Parenthood" where the grandma tells the newly/unexpectedly pg wife that life is like a rollercoaster and that she likes the ride. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1h_hmdVJAc
My family: me , dh , ds (11), dd1 (9), and dd2 (3).
Tout va s'arranger à la fin. Si elle ne fonctionne pas; ce n'est pas la fin.
A lot of my fears are irrational or illogical too. And I do think anxiety is a pregnancy symptom for me...But yeah, I'm right there with you too. Hugs to you!
SO wanted to try and I went along with it (well you know...it's FUN!) even though I did some serious contemplation and really did not want another child just yet. I was waiting for AF and then going to tell him we were going to hop right back on the boat and use BC again....and guess who's knocked up?
So....this child is wanted for sure, but I'm still having a difficult time coming around to te idea. I also haven't told anyone other than some close friends and my student advisor.
So I guess I'm in the boat with everyone else!
well, i'm glad i'm not the only crazy in the bunch! lol! still no real symptoms to make me feel better, but i could be as early as 5w2d, so to be expected. i just want a few days of symptoms, then smooth sailing...is that too much to ask for?
But for some completely illogical reason, I have this fear that I'll just be "not pregnant" and not have a miscarriage either.
As soon as I get back home I'm going to find a doctor and see if they can make sure that there is something in there.
Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdad and mom to DS 24 months, and DD 8 months! .
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