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#1 of 4 Old 04-05-2010, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This happened to me with dd too. i get really angry at dh, like i literally want to physically beat him. i dont know if its just hormones, pregnancy, anger for the fact that he gets all the "good" and i get all the crap, he doesnt have to be pregnant or go through labor or nurse. i know its also that he doesnt GET to do these things and i feel lucky for having them but i also just feel like he is maybe lazy is not the right word but just not doing enough to get a baby at the end?

This happens when i pms too though actually I just get so angry and take it out on him, but through pregnancy and nursing im just really a hormonal mess angry and sad and crying, very extreme.

I guess i really feel that when i am feeling or acting this way, although it IS inappropriate, dh should hug me and tell me its ok and kiss me and just take it and be calm and remind me its pregnancy etc. He on the other hand usually gets angry back and it turns into a power struggle fight that usually escalates to extreme places because neither of us can stop and i really feel like i have a better excuse for my behavior. in reality i know i should, and try to, take responsibility for it but i just feel crazy like i have no control over my emotions.

I seriously consider getting some meds or something through this pregnancy. And i am not sure if this is normal, if i feel this way because i have no support, if i am crazy, if dh is a jerk. i really dont know what's going on.

I will say that i have 0 support a nd put a lot of expectations on myself to be perfect. For example yesterday we went to an easter party where there was a lot of drinking and smoking, although it was supposed to be a kids party as far as i knew. The smoking was outside but it was rainy and cold and people where smoking right next to the door which kept being opened and shut as people went in and out and in order to leave the house you have to go through a big puff of smoke. i was getting so nauseated and trying to find a place in the house to be w here the smoke wasnt coming in, so then i went in another room and got a huge wiff of some marijuana. apparently an ill grandmother at the house smokes medicinal, which is all fine the whole thing, its not my house, im nto judging but my unborn baby who brain might be just developing at htat moment has no idea whether the joint he just smoked is legal, medicinal or whatever, and I was just so pissed and guilty, i left right away and just said im nto feeling well im going to go sit in the car until you say goodbye and we leave. But i felt just so angry and guilty that my baby and dd where exposed to the smoke from the mj and cigarettes and that i didnt leave sooner. Normally i would just leave and let it go but I was SOOOO over the top angry, screaming and yelling and stressing myself out. maybe thats a bad example cause I thinka lot of people would be upset in that situation but little things that normally i can stay composed about i am just over the top about, threatening to leave dh, and just crazy extreme statement.


Anyway anyone know what im talking about ? Any advice?

I am thinking it may have something to do with low blood pressure, ive always had low blood pressure and i bet during pg and nursing it must be very low?
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#2 of 4 Old 04-05-2010, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.mademan.com/mm/how-low-bl...anagement.html


that is very interesting!
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#3 of 4 Old 04-05-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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I've been quite irritable lately and unfortunately it has been directed at DH. I feel terrible, because I love him to pieces and also because I am really happy to be pregnant. It's got to be hormones, because it seems like I am taking little things he says and reading negative tone into them and then snapping at him. As soon as I've snapped at him, I realize what I thought he meant wasn't what he meant at all and I'm being a dope. But it's getting better. The past few days I only got irritated with him a couple times total, instead of multiple times per day!

Lori ~ wife to DH 5 yrs ~ DS born naturally 11.20.10!
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#4 of 4 Old 04-05-2010, 03:06 PM
 
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oh man, i got SO mad at DH because ALL of his friends smoke pot still. Were talking 35 year old married men (lots of childless couples, not because they cant, but they dont want too). Anyways, last week he went to visit a client (dh is an accountant) and the client was smoking pot in the office and when he got home he was complaining and I got angry at DH! He just got a job working for the city and the last thing he needs to to be around that crap when hes has to take drug tests! It makes me really crazy. And this time I guess I was hormonal, because I just started hysterically crying, saying he was going to destroy our family and he would lose the city job and we wouldnt have health insurance and he would be arrested. I mean, its possible, but not probable. But it didnt matter, I felt like our family was in danger and just flipped. He got angry first, but luckily, whenever I cry, he cries, so it breaks down the power struggle. And the next time he went, he told the client he didnt want to be around it and the client went home (2 minutes away from the office) and smoked there and came back.

I mean, I have known people who didnt know pot was around, then the cops show up and they get arrested just for being in the same house! It doesnt matter if you were using it or not, if its there, they can arrest anyone (at least in MD). I just wish people would stop! High school, really.

I totally understand the flipping out. I just keep reminding DH, "Im probably going to cry a lot and hurt your feelings, but I love you and I'm really sorry. Just tell me you love me and everything will be okay and I will believe you."

Then yesterday I napped and had a terrible dream he cheated on me while I was pregnant. And then persisted to interrogate him on the subject once I woke up. Which normally he would have flipped, but he remembered that Im extra weepy lately and just said, "I love you, I love our family and I could never look you in the face again if I did that. Besides, I work from home... when would I have time to do that?" haha. uh, good point, you're home pretty much all day... but still. My dream was vivid. Then he handed me his phone and I scrolled through... feeling like a high schooler... and he just smiled at me. Nope nothing suspicious.

Maybe if you sit him down and say, please just hug me and tell me you love me and I promise things wont escalate like that. Or maybe try therapy? We did premarital therapy and that helped us work through our issues. Also we talk alone every night before bed for like 30 minutes which really seems to help us. Maybe building in some alone time everyday without the kiddies will help strengthen communication and alleviate some of your anxiety and anger. Telling him your fears a little bit each day will definitely help keep them from building up and exploding.

I dont know a lot about taking medication during pregnancy. But I have known several people with depression, anxiety and/or bipolar who had to stop taking their medication before they started trying for a baby and during pregnancy and bfing... but I dont know what they were on. So, its possible there is some medications that are approved for use during pregnancy.

You are so not alone in your outbursts! Sometimes I flip out too. That is unavoidable. But its the making up thats the important part!! Sending you lots of calming and relaxing vibes!!!

Hugs,
L

Lauren , DH , DD 02/2007 and expecting #2 (12/7/10)! We
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