knee_deep. This can be so frustrating, can't it?
I'm not sure if my DD's story is at all helpful, but let me share what we went through. At 7.5 years old, I'd say DD has been fully potty trained not for about 3-4 months. DD would be ok for a few weeks, and then would have little accidents (just enough to wet the underwear and maybe a bit on her pants) as many as a couple a day or several a week. Like you, she was having accidents at school (and starting to get teased
), and she'd have accidents when engaged in something else.
DD has an informal diagnosis of sensory integration disorder, where her brain does not respond to some sensory input very well, and is over sensitive to others. When reading, I literally have to touch her to get her attention. The sound of my voice does not alert her brain to shift attention. She is under-responsive to auditory input, especially when distracted. Likewise, we suspect that she's under-responsive to the sensory input from her bladder. That is, she's not aware of the sensations from her bladder, and she's not aware of the sensation of having wet underwear if her brain is at all engaged in anything else.
Simply not feeling the sensations made the whole process amazingly frustrating to everyone.
We tried a lot of things:
*She would have to drop everything, take the wet clothes down to the wash and go up to her room to change, then wash hands.
*We would send her on a regular basis.
*We spent a lot of time talking about the physiology of how your body makes pee, where it's stored, how the bladder tells you if needs to empty, yada yada.
Finally, we decided that we simply had to keep her bladder empty, or we were not going to get anywhere. After getting kicked out of art camp, DH sent her back the next week with his digital watch, set to go off once an hour. She was horribly embarrassed, but she went each hour as prompted and was dry for the week. So we bought her a vibrating watch (we picked a pink one, and one that would vibrate for 30 seconds), and we set it for about once an hour during the school day (we had the teacher set the times for us according to DD's needs -- not too distracting for the class, not too much going one, not during recess...). DD was tasked with being responsible for the watch ($70
: ) and we tried hard to make her partner in addressing the issue.
DD hasn't worn the watch to school since mid-November, with no accidents during teh school day this year. She's had maybe two total since art camp in August.
Whew, that was a book. I hope there's something useful in there. It's soooooo frustrating!