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J1379 07-03-2014 05:21 PM

Need advice for discouraging "potty talk" and some other behaviours in DS!
I could really use some advice on how to discourage/decrease some behaviours in DS who is 6. DS constantly uses "potty talk" or "bathroom talk" as they call it at his school. Everything is about poop or going to the bathroom or bums...I know, I know....he's a little boy - but I really do not like how much he is doing it and unfortunately it is rubbing off onto his younger siblings as well. His other behaviour/habit that DH and I are desperately looking for some advice as to how to discourage it is that my DS talks constantly in "silly" voices. Usually its paired with the potty talk which really drives me up the wall! LOL He will talk in these irritating voices constantly and he knows that DH and I dislike it and will use the voice while looking at me with a really cheeky grin so I know that he is doing it just to get a rise out of me. How do I decrease this behaviour?? Is it a stage? Is this normal 6 year old behaviour? Will he just outgrow it? For the potty talk we have tried simply saying that it is inappropriate and we don't use those words - and he completely understands and will stop for a few moments but then will soon be back at it again. As for the voice I will usually say "I don't understand you with that voice, please use your normal voice." or I will tell him how I love his "regular voice" and ask him to use that. But nothing works and unfortunately after an entire day of it I sometimes lose my cool and will shout at him to stop using the voice or stop using the potty language which of course I know does not really help the issue but it will stop him temporarily. I really don't know how to decrease these behaviours and I'm open to any advice Mommas!!!

AAK 07-04-2014 10:18 AM

The way we handled "the voice" was exactly as you described. We said we couldn't understand that voice. If it persisted, I would completely ignore it or I would leave the room. Sometimes, I figured they were bored so I would find them something to do. . . Look's like you are bored, go grab the towels out of the dryer and help mom fold them (or something similar). It wasn't punishment, it was a regular job, but usually they seemed to understand that I wasn't the right playmate for the annoying voice. The girls quickly figured out that I wasn't bothered by them playing with silly voices, but that there was a time and place for it.

Potty talk was harder. Partly because potty humor can (sometimes) be funny. However, when a 6 yr old gets into potty humor, it can be above and beyond humor. I was really strict about it when we had company or during mealtimes, etc. If they didn't respond to "not appropriate right now", they would have to go somewhere else. Otherwise, I generally acknowledged that it can be funny sometimes, but they needed to learn that it wasn't funny all the time. We talked about when it could be funny (playing with friends) and when it was not ever funny (church, etc). We also talked about a little is enough. That helped. When it was overwhelming, I would say "mommy's had enough potty talk today, find another place to be if you need to talk like that." If friends were over, they usually ran outside to play. If not, it wasn't much fun to talk like that if no one would listen.

Btw: yes, totally normal on both counts.


meowmix 07-05-2014 03:42 PM

I would ignore the weird voice. Or say "I'm sorry, I don't understand/like this voice. Please say it in your regular voice and it will be easier for me to respond." Then ignore him til he uses a regular voice. If he's doing the voice to get a rise out of you, he won't get the response he wants so I imagine the behavior would lessen. I did this with whineyness. The kids learned pretty quickly to ask for things nicely in their regular voice and I would be much more likely to respond. I am really good at ignoring, though. I mean, they'd be jumping in front of me whining and I'd look up, or turn around and do something else. Sometimes I would say to no one in particular "Wow. I hear a really whiney voice. I simply can't understand it. I wish they'd use a different voice so I could understand." It seemed to work and I never got all vested in their emotions and in some sort of power struggle over using a certain voice.

For potty talk, I kind of agree with AAK. I mean, it can be really funny! But the kids all went through phases of thinking it was hilarious to belt out potty words. That wasn't as funny. So we all decided that when that happens, they should put those potty words where potty stuff goes- in the bathroom. So they would feel that urge and, without a reminder from me, they would run to the bathroom, shut the door and I'd hear them screaming out "BUTTBUTTPOOPYPOOPINMYPANTSBUTT!" and then they'd all just die laughing. and they'd get it out of their systems and come back and be able to, I dunno, sit at the dinner table and eat with us. heehee... They also became more savvy about what I didn't think was funny and what was bathroom talk. They could tell me some silly fart jokes at certain times, but not in a public restaurant... or in the company of certain people. And we would joke about silly bathroom related stories when they were babies (stories of them having leaky diapers in public when I was embarrassed are such a huge hit with them. heh). But I am far less likely to think that just saying random words is funny.

They did this for a while. They've grown out of it now, though.. so it does become less with time!

pumabearclan 07-05-2014 04:11 PM

I would also assess the encouragement that your child is receiving. Is there a friend or group of friends that does this? Is there media that encourages this? If so, minimize or eliminate this encouragement.

You could also make a point to substitute proper witty humor or other stimulating activities for this acting up and toilet humor, if the child is bored or feeling at loose ends. Physical activity and assuming increased personal responsibility in the household are always good options.

contactmaya 07-06-2014 01:12 PM

You described my son-he grew out of it, although still does it a little bit at 8. Now my 6yo is starting up....

Skippy918 07-06-2014 06:56 PM

My nearly 6 year old does this and it's rubbing off on my 3 year old.

hntinropee 07-08-2014 05:55 AM

I simply can't understand it. I wish they'd use a different voice so I could understand." It seemed to work and I never got all vested in their emotions and in some sort of power struggle over using a certain voice.

J1379 07-19-2014 10:36 AM

Thanks for all the great advice and encouragement! AAK and Meowmix - I took your advice and had a good talk about where potty language is appropriate and where it is not and tried to create some areas where it is okay for them to be silly boys to giggle to their hearts content over the word "poop" lol. That seemed to make a lot of sense to them and it has helped. I have definitely seen a decrease in the language at the dinner table and a couple of other places where it really was not appropriate. Now...the "voice" has not decreased at all but I will continue with my normal strategy of asking him to use his regular voice and ignoring anything said in the irritating voice. I'm really hoping that he just outgrows it soon!

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