Hi Mamas, I haven't been no Mothering in years, but right now I could use some guidance. Please don't take offense to the title of my post. I'm flustered and upset, and only think about giving away my kids 3x a day. I have two more times left today to think such thought that I will not ever act upon.
(Below is the SHORT version of the last few months.)
We adopted a little dachshund min-pin mix from a local rescue. We thought and thought about a dog for a long time, but DH was convinced that DD (5) would be elated with a dog. "It's when she's most happy," he'd say. And she was. . .along as she could carry it everywhere, and basically pretend it was her baby/toy/dog, in that order. The problems started when DD would act like the dog was her dog exclusive of DS (3), so then DS would do anything to get to the dog, ie: run after it, tease it with food so it would follow him, pick it up the moment she put it down. She would counter with taking the dog to her room, and closing the door. Both of them love it too much, and it's causing problems for everyone. We called a dog trainer through the rescue. She came out and observed for hours and thought the kids and the dog were both trainable.
Skip to now, and it is worse. The trainer said no one can carry the dog, so that took away DD's primary way of bonding with the dog. I agree completely, but DD always sees me carrying the dog away from her because ultimately she is doing something "mean" to the dog to get it's attention. She will put it on a chair when she thinks no one is looking, and corner it there so she can sit with it. She will drag if from under a table to get the dog on her lap. Last night, DH put her in her room for reaching up two stairs and pulling the dog down to her by it's front legs. Her aggression towards the dog, although not meant to be mean, is causing us much grief. The yelling in our house has increased dramatically. We are in a constant state of trying to protect the dog from their attention when all we wanted was a dog they could interact with, a family dog. We don't have a dog. I have a dog, and two children that cannot just let the dog alone.
DH wants the rescue to take the dog back for the dog's sake, and put her in a "safer home." I think we should continue with training of both dog and children, although the children don't seem to be able to follow even the most basic rules.
I'm not sure where I failed the most, as a parent who's children won't listen at all, or as a doggie mom.
What would you do? And how would you explain it to the
P.S. Right now this is happening:
DS: Why is her cage off limits?
Me: Because that's where she goes to rest in peace, and get away. It's safe to her, like your room.
DS: Walks over to cage, and puts his head in while she's in there chewing on a toy.
Me: You are not obeying the rules about the dog and her cage. I walk over, and move him away. Two seconds later, he goes over and starts to lock her cage door saying it's too early for her to be up. I walk over again, and move him. I redirect to a toy on the floor, so he starts throwing the pieces at the dog and then laughs when the dog runs off with his pieces. Then yells when the dog doesn't give them back.
This is insanity.