Yes, meal planning is crucial! It's also been very, very helpful to me to insist that my partner cook at predictable times, instead of saying he's always happy to cook if I ask him politely but never actually volunteering to cook or making any plan to do so.... We used to have 3 assigned nights per week each, and then it fell apart when we had a baby and I was working part-time and he was working full-time so we assumed that between that and my being The Mom, I would do most of the cooking, but then that assumption continued after I returned to full-time.... After he started working from home, eventually I was firm about needing him to cook every weeknight, while I cook on the weekends. I still do 90% of the meal planning, but he cooks what I plan, and I appreciate it!
I use a 4-day laundry plan
to keep up with the cloth diapers and the dirty clothes.
For scheduling, I am very low-tech; I find this less stressful than keeping a device charged, dry, and out of my toddler's hands! I have a wall calendar at home, and I make a weekly to-do list by folding a sheet of paper in eighths: one box for each day and one for "next week"; I set it up during Sunday naptime and transcribe any appointments that are on the calendar, then go over last week's list and write the things that did not get done, then write in laundry and other chores. I tape my list next to the calendar so I don't lose it! Often when I set appointments or make other plans, I'm doing it from work (making phone calls during business hours/using computer without kid distractions), so I write myself a note about my plans and put it in my lunch bag; when I'm unpacking the lunch bag at home, I write the stuff on my list and calendar and tell the family about it. Sometimes I send myself lunch bag notes from home to work reminding me to make calls.
My partner is home when the mail arrives. He puts my bills and important stuff in one bin, junk mail in another, ads and catalogs near the dining table with the newspaper. Once a week I have "inbox" on my list, and that's when I open the important mail, write checks, manage online accounts, etc. My son and I process the junk mail together once a month or so--look for anything useful and recycle the rest! I look at the grocery store sales, coupons, catalogs, etc. while I'm eating breakfast or late-night snack, and I add to the shopping lists
I also try to minimize the things I feel I "have to" plan. My one-year-old doesn't have playdates unless they double as childcare or mom socializing. My ten-year-old arranges his own playdates for the most part; it's only if he's having trouble connecting with someone (different school, busy schedule, etc.) that I get involved. We have a museums membership (includes 4 local museums) so if we want a family outing, we usually go to one of them or a park, and little planning is needed.