How can growing up without a mother affect a child? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-12-2019, 03:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How can growing up without a mother affect a child?

We have all heard about the million children growing up without fathers but I wanted to draw attention to a rarer but similar issue, growing up without a mother.

What effects can this have on a child, especially if the mother is absent for practically all of the childs life? Also, if the mother neglected the child and never showed the child any love and basically abandoned the child. This could have bad psychological effects couldn't it?

Have any of you grown up without your mothers? I'd love to hear some of your experiences if you have.

How can growing up without a mother affect a child? Discuss.
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#2 of 7 Old 02-13-2019, 11:03 AM
 
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My best childhood friend grew up without her mother (mother walked out when she was 4). She's very well adjusted. Her dad stayed home with the kids and took care of them best he could; he was an awesome dad. As an adult, I'm sure it bothers her, but her life and life choices don't reflect it.
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#3 of 7 Old 02-17-2019, 01:36 PM
 
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In the case of a girl growing up without a mother I guess there could be a problem when it comes to "girl things". I know one girl that is growing up without a father, she's a friend of my daughters and she's very much a tomboy. She just doesn't have anything girlish in her, probably because she doesn't have a mother to set an example. Another thing that could be difficult is explaining about periods and such, that's still primary the job of a mother. In fact, this girl came to me when she didn't quite understand the explanation her father gave her. He probably meant well, but didn't quite know how to bring it.

In case of boys growing up without a father it's a bit easier, after all guys have their father as a model of how to behave as a man.
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#4 of 7 Old 02-18-2019, 06:15 AM
 
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I think it is not so rare as you may think. A child needs one person that is crazy about them, who stands with and protects them. One person to attach to, to get feedback from on what it means to be human and to be loved. That can be a mother, a father, a grandparent or other kin, or someone who agrees to be that person for that child. With that ONE person, a child will be alright.
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#5 of 7 Old 02-22-2019, 01:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
I think it is not so rare as you may think. A child needs one person that is crazy about them, who stands with and protects them. One person to attach to, to get feedback from on what it means to be human and to be loved. That can be a mother, a father, a grandparent or other kin, or someone who agrees to be that person for that child. With that ONE person, a child will be alright.
I agree, but two is better so you can split the attention. However this doesn't always have to be a man and a woman.

Up the street from here there's a gay couple, two males, raising children. A boy and a girl. I don't know where they came from, they always say they are their children and by the way they raise them they certainly are. They might be gay, but they're good parents from what I can see.
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#6 of 7 Old 02-22-2019, 05:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by November11 View Post
I agree, but two is better so you can split the attention. However this doesn't always have to be a man and a woman.

Up the street from here there's a gay couple, two males, raising children. A boy and a girl. I don't know where they came from, they always say they are their children and by the way they raise them they certainly are. They might be gay, but they're good parents from what I can see.
Why wouldn't they be good parents?? You said 'they might be gay BUT they're good parents!?

When I say a child needs one person that is crazy about them, I am talking about the clinical research that shows good outcomes for children. It might be personal preference to have two parents; two often make any job easier. This includes cleaning the house, or anything that can be difficult. But research shows one person (not even necessarily the parent, can be kin caregiver) who is crazy about the child and committed to his/her best interest, is what children need to be able to succeed.

 









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#7 of 7 Old 08-02-2020, 10:32 AM
 
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Interesting subject. I know a man who grew up without his mother. His father lied to him about her. She had mental health issues and other stuff and couldn’t take care of him properly and the dad could at the time. But, he did the bare minimum. Now the man sought out the mother in his teen years. She wasn’t what he was told all his life. Now he has a great relationship with the mom and doesn’t talk to the dad. The man was a sad little boy. Missed his mommy and couldn’t understand why she left. It a really sad story
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