My 10 yo wrote a note in school that says I "beat" her - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 02-22-2019, 07:29 AM - Thread Starter
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My 10 yo wrote a note in school that says I "beat" her

My 10yo daughter was writing on paper during her math lesson and the teacher took it from her..the note read "my mother beats me like no other kid, I cry every morning" sure theres more but the social worker would not tell me the rest bc i am being acused of child abuse. Her father and I are divorced and her and her 2 younger brothers are to be with him this weekend. They are either going to her school today to talk with her or to dad's house tonight. i just want to start this off with I DONT BEAT MY CHILDREN. DD has been going to a therapist for a few months. CYS was called a week after it started bc my daughter was expressing she hears voices in her head, contemplates suicide, and knows where her dad keeps his hand gun. Open case. They investigated, case closed. I have her also going to a psych doctor for ADHD meds which her teachers have expressed are really helping her behavior and attention during class. I don't think my kid is a schizo i def will believe she is on the spectrum but def not hearing voices. Her therapist has caught her in a few white lies about an imaginary friend and other harmless things but nothing like this. Im honestly heartbroken by it. I asked her why she did it and she said it was fake and it wasnt real and she didnt know. I am an active PTA member, all of my kids are involved in multiple activities and sports, we have nailedit baking challenges every other week and we have family game night every single monday!! I am doing the very best that I can at being a good single mother and doing right by my children and I just dont know where im going wrong with this kid. Obviously nothing is going to come of the case but I cant help but feel resentful even if im pretending things are business as usual. This could effect my custody of my other 2 children. I dont even know what im trying to get by this post but i just wanted to get it out because im so heart broken and angry right now

Last edited by twiggy327; 02-22-2019 at 07:32 AM.
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#2 of 5 Old 02-22-2019, 01:31 PM
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I'm sorry to hear this.

Just like you I'm also a single mother and my kids were once that age (they're a few years older now). I think it might be the first signs of puberty, they try something and can't see the consequences of it. It was probably meant as a prank that got way out of hand.

My girls both have played pranks on me and those also didn't always go as planned. It just comes with the age, so don't make it more than it is. Don't let it get to your head, it'll only drive you crazy. Of course you should talk to her, explain to her what consequences this might have had. But after that, let it rest.

For her those pranks are a way of testing how far she can go, and she can't learn that by always staying in line. This time she definitely went too far. She knows that now (or at least, she'll know after you explained it to her), she won't do that again. But on the other hand, you got to give her some space to explore her limits.
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#3 of 5 Old 02-23-2019, 07:11 AM
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This sounds really hard, and I'm sorry. I wondered if you use any physical discipline, or have in the past. I would gently suggest that she may interpret things as 'beating' that you do not. Even if it was a long time ago. Raising kids is really hard, especially by yourself. I hope you'll get the support you need so that you can feel better about things and your relationship with her when things resolve. You have to be able to trust one another. Her therapist should be working with you too, and taking the whole family into account. If they are not, perhaps seek an additional family therapist that can work on issues the whole family is dealing with, in addition to her own issues. Sometimes a family needs both: a therapist for the child and one for the whole family. I wish you well and hope this resolves quickly.


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#4 of 5 Old 06-30-2019, 09:42 AM
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Better go for counselling
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#5 of 5 Old 08-02-2020, 11:19 AM
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I just want to offer you some strength. I have dealt with the ministry and my children before and it’s hard. My two youngest children have adhd and it’s a rough road. Stay strong. Confide in a good friend. And be honest with the cps people. It really helped me. Pray, meditate or whatever you do. And believe things will turn out for you and they will. It’s hard being a single
Mom. You sound like you are doing a great job at it.
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