How to talk to children about death - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 06-20-2019, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
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How to talk to children about death

I am the mother of a lovely 6 year old daughter. Unfortunately I have to raise her alone since when she was 4 months old my husband (her father) has passed away. I still miss him every day, however logically she has no memories of him.

Every once in a while I go visit his grave and I take her with me to say hi to daddy. She notices this is different from what other kids her age experience. To those kids, their father is a living person. Lately when one of those kids asked her about it she said her father is a stone which made the other kids laugh about her and made her feel bad.

What's the best way to deal with a situation like this?
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#2 of 3 Old 06-26-2019, 11:02 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss.
I think that honesty is the only way to go, albeit with age/child appropriate discussions. My biological mother died a few weeks before my 5th birthday. I was living at that time already with my father and my stepmother who became my mother de facto. My father told me of my biological mother's death although I don't remember the conversation exactly. My point is that one needs to tell the child the truth about the death of a loved one and answer any questions the child might have and let the child express whatever concerns s/he might have about how the death may effect them.
Even if she doesn't remember her father, tell her more about him so she could share those memories with you.
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#3 of 3 Old 08-02-2020, 10:26 AM
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I don’t know what you believe in or what you are teaching you child so it’s hard to answer this question. In my family we talk about heaven.
I would tell her it is not her dad but a place to go to remember him. Show her pictures, if you have them, not all families do. Be honest . Say he died. You were really sad. You are still sad. And it’s nice to go to the graveyard and just think about him and talk to him and feel close to him.
Sorry for your loss
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