Oh-I definately still struggle with the feeling that my oldest has been lost to his daddy. Mine are only 2 years apart but I make nursing time an opportunity to read books. Whenever Joey wants something and I am nursing I offer him suggestions we can do while I nurse and he loves it. Put the babe in a sling and go play. Joey has learned so much about nurturing the baby. I always treat the baby crying as a distraction- "oh- Zach needs me, we'll have to wait." Now as soon as Zach cries, Joey yells (just in case someone misses it) Mommy- give him your boobies- Mommy, there's milk in there! He really gets it.
So, there are lots of advantages and they get better as the baby becomes a more integral part of the family but yes I have this little saddness that my baby Joey disappeared while I was giving birth and now big boy Joey lives here. I miss baby Joey. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him and pull him onto my lap but he just slips away again.