Possibly Pregnant Teenager: Input Please? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 11 Old 04-03-2010, 07:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A young teenager I know, had unprotected sex on the 26th of march. She said she got her period the 18th or 19th... So that would make the day she had sex on cycle day 8 or 9.

She's now on day 16 or 17 depending when her period was...

Anyways, needless to say, she didn't use protection. Hence why I'm posting this.

I'm pretty sure that day 9 is a risky day to have unprotected sex. Her periods are regular, 26-28 days each.

She's worried she's pregnant. I let her take a test, but it was negative (I expected that this soon...) but what do you guys think the odds are?

I'm really freaked out for her. :-s

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#2 of 11 Old 04-03-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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First, it's way too early to test. I would ask her to have the patience to wait until she's actually late before testing again. Stress and worry can delay a period.

Second, if she is pregnant it is not the end of the world. There are many options out there for teen pregnancies/teen moms. I had my first when I was teen and while I don't think it's for everybody I'm very glad he happened. My advice to you would be to be as supportive to her as you can be without passing on your worry for her. She's probably plenty worried herself.

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#3 of 11 Old 04-03-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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While day 9 is risky, it isn't as risky as it could be. I'm assuming she doesn't know when she normally ovulates. I have a short cycle, 26 days, and I don't ovulate until about day 15 or 16. If she ovulates on day 14, for example, she did have sex a full 5 days before ovulation, which decreases her chances somewhat. Even women that are ttc only have about a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant each cycle.

She won't be able to get an accurate result on a pregnancy test until much, much closer to when her period is due. I think at this point the best thing you can d is to be a good listener to her, have her start thinking about her options if she is pregnant, and maybe talk to her about getting a good form of birth control if she isn't pregnant.
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#4 of 11 Old 04-04-2010, 01:26 PM
 
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It's still too early. She's going to ahve to wait and take another test if her period doesn't show. Chances are that she's not pregnant, but there is no way to know at this point.
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#5 of 11 Old 04-04-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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Is it too late for Plan B? (if that is an option for her)

ETA ... just re-read the dates, I think it has to be taken within a few days. Might be something to teach her about, though!
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#6 of 11 Old 04-04-2010, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is too late for plan b, but I did tell her about it.

What's so frustrating, is for a few months leading up to this incident, I kept asking her "Do you need help getting some birth control? I can help you get it..." And she kept getting MAD at me and telling me no and that she didn't need it and to "stop freaking asking."

Now she's in this situation.

I asked her why they didn't use a condom... and she says "He said he didn't want to... I dunno." *shrug*

It's so frustrating.

One thing about this girl though... I don't think she could handle a baby... And I think she'll barely be able to handle a pregnancy. She's a very troubled young girl, and very into the goth/emo/i-hate-life-and-everyone-sucks kind of thing. She uses drugs and drinks. She told me she's not going to use them until she finds out if shes pregnant or not. Hopefully she stays true to that.

On top of that... I decided to use the whole situation as kind of a reality check and I sat down with her and asked her, very seriously, "What are you going to do if you are pregnant?" And what she said floored me.

"If I'm pregnant then I'd want you to adopt the baby cuz i can't take care of no baby and be a good mom."

Wow. I don't even know what to think.

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#7 of 11 Old 04-04-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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It sounds like she hasn't really thought this through and is just kind of expecting you to be there as a backup plan. It does sound like she is lacking in maturity and needs some help with her decision making skills.

I think, were I in your shoes, that I'd first of all wait and see if she is pregnant, of course, but in the likelihood that she isn't, I'd have a good talk with her covering several important points. She needs to use a reliable for of birth control, and condoms as well to protect her health. Hopefully this experience is kind of a wake-up call to her that it can happen to her and she needs to be safer. I'd also try gently, in a non-judgmental way, to let her know that she can't assume that you (or anyone else for that matter) will be her rescuer.

Being goth/emo in and of itself isn't a problem (I was one and I turned out fine) but the drugs and drinking are. Many teenagers do experiment, but if you can find out how heavy she is into using drugs you might be able to help her get some counseling or help of some kind.
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#8 of 11 Old 04-05-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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I have short cycles too, and don't typically ovulate until cd13. It's very possible she's not pregnant. You're going to have to wait and see what happens there. Is the girl willing to discuss her options with you? Or with anyone? There are teens that become pregnant and are incredible Mommies (and Daddies!), but most are poorly equipped to deal with the realities of being a parent. Is there a support group in your area for young mothers?

Is she in counseling? Between your description of her, her drug use, and her attitude towards unprotected sex, it sounds like this young lady has no sense of self-worth. Regardless of the outcome of this situation, I'd talk to a professional in her school and see what they can do for her.

This young lady is lucky to have you in her life. I'm a HS counselor, and I see so many teenagers that lack this basic support and concern from an adult. She is a very lucky girl.

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#9 of 11 Old 04-05-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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There is a possibility, but chances are pretty good that she's NOT pregnant. Even with perfect timing, there's still only a ~25% chance of conceiving, and CD8 or 9 is counting on that sperm hanging out for a while, which decreases the odds even more.

So yeah, you have at least a week for you both to think about it and mull over what this could mean. Even if she gets AF this cycle, she will hopefully learn something about what she is and is not ready to do.

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#10 of 11 Old 04-05-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mosaic View Post
Even if she gets AF this cycle, she will hopefully learn something about what she is and is not ready to do.
and make sure to talk to her about this because as a teenager she may think.... well it didn't happen this time so it never will (trust me, I lived on that theory until I was 19 and ended up pregnant)... you need to make sure she understands that just because it didn't does not mean it wont.

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#11 of 11 Old 04-14-2010, 12:12 PM
 
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