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So, I've been thinking about this for a long time. Please take it easy on me because this is my first "food for thought/discussion" type thread.
I'd like to start a dialogue on the "over importance" placed on parenting choices. I really don't know if "over importance" is an accurate description for what I mean at but it's the best I can do right this second. I've thought a lot about what I mean but not so much about how to say it. I'd like to describe what I've been thinking about.
The origins of what I want to discuss come from two places. 1st is from the mind set of a potential adoptive parent and the 2nd is from an adult with wonderful family & friends who have all been raised much differently from how I'm raising my child.
(Some also comes from a firm belief of mine that there are many correct choices when it comes to parenting choices and I feel that sometimes I'm looking for 'THE' right rather than 'A' right choice"
When I think of adopting a child, which was my definite plan - before I had my first child, I worry so much about the things that would not be in my control. You see, with the pregnancy, birth and early childhood of my daughter, I took/take so many things seriously. I worried about my emotional state during pregnancy, my diet, my drug history, my family history, I wanted a peaceful homebirth and etc. After the birth, I worried about bonding, breastfeeding, organic cotton clothing, cloth diapers and a whole host of things that I would not be in control of with an adopted child.
I'm wondering if any of you have thoughts on this from an adoptive (or potential) parenting perspective?
The other reason that I've been thinking about this is because I know many adults and children who are wonderful people that I would have been happy to have raised. Many…most of these people were raised much differently from how I would like to raise my child. My father is the best example of this because he was really raised and the typical 1950's/shipped of to boarding school way yet he talks so highly of his childhood and is a successfully happy man.
Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about? Could we have a dialogue about this? Perhaps someone could help me articulate what I'm thinking/feeling.
I'd like to start a dialogue on the "over importance" placed on parenting choices. I really don't know if "over importance" is an accurate description for what I mean at but it's the best I can do right this second. I've thought a lot about what I mean but not so much about how to say it. I'd like to describe what I've been thinking about.
The origins of what I want to discuss come from two places. 1st is from the mind set of a potential adoptive parent and the 2nd is from an adult with wonderful family & friends who have all been raised much differently from how I'm raising my child.
(Some also comes from a firm belief of mine that there are many correct choices when it comes to parenting choices and I feel that sometimes I'm looking for 'THE' right rather than 'A' right choice"
When I think of adopting a child, which was my definite plan - before I had my first child, I worry so much about the things that would not be in my control. You see, with the pregnancy, birth and early childhood of my daughter, I took/take so many things seriously. I worried about my emotional state during pregnancy, my diet, my drug history, my family history, I wanted a peaceful homebirth and etc. After the birth, I worried about bonding, breastfeeding, organic cotton clothing, cloth diapers and a whole host of things that I would not be in control of with an adopted child.
I'm wondering if any of you have thoughts on this from an adoptive (or potential) parenting perspective?
The other reason that I've been thinking about this is because I know many adults and children who are wonderful people that I would have been happy to have raised. Many…most of these people were raised much differently from how I would like to raise my child. My father is the best example of this because he was really raised and the typical 1950's/shipped of to boarding school way yet he talks so highly of his childhood and is a successfully happy man.
Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about? Could we have a dialogue about this? Perhaps someone could help me articulate what I'm thinking/feeling.