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Okay, I was reading the question by Yarnia and thought I might be able to get some advice, but my guy is 18 months old and won't get into the carseat. I can't do most of the suggestions because he doesn't understand. He laughs when I count, screams bloody murder (to the point where people have stared) when I force him and if I let him do it in his own time, he either ends up in his big sister's seat (which trust me she hates!!) or he just won't get into the seat. The routine has only changed insomuch that we have been staying in a hotel for 4 weeks but aside from that everything is normal. (of course what is normal with a 2 yo and a 1yo???) But I need help because disciplining him is making me exhausted! He is also pretty hard-headed and obstinate in other areas but I usually let him take his time. I started reading without spanking or spoiling but i am starting to think I let him have too much control. I don't know anymore
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UumSamiyah

No special advice other than have you ever read Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley? Great parenting ideas and skills fill the book, and they work. Its all respectful, gentle and down to earth stuff. Maybe something might work for you and yours.

Good luck!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by UmmSamiyah
I started reading without spanking or spoiling but i am starting to think I let him have too much control.
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You're doing fine. And good on you for no spanking. Children need to be in control of their own bodies. There is nothing wrong with that. It is the conflicts with health and safety that always cause a problem. You just cannot give in.

If the suggestions that have been made (and that may be made in the future) don't work, you are left with firm force. Of course we would like to find another way, but at the end of the day, that is what is left.

Working on the basis, that this is the last resort, I recomend that when "fitting him in" to the seat, show no emotion.

Don't smile and grin, and sing a happy song! Imagine how frustrating that would be for your little one, busy trying to tell you his side of the story while you merrily carry on!

Try not to grimmace! (Adds to the fight that he has to put up.)

Neutral business face or symapathetic (but not very sympathetic, this can come across as fobbing him off).

Good luck on finding the "key".

a
 

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I am not sure if this will help but if the carseat is rear-facing you may want to try forward-facing. My DD hated her carseat until we turned it forward-facing.

Also since he likes to sit in his big sisters carseat have her sit in his first and show him that she likes his carseat or have her try and guide him to his carseat. Sometimes siblings can get each other to do things that parents can't.
 

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I would recommend having a lot of compassion for your baby. My ds is the same way - he hates the car seat. I try various gentle means to get him into it. I always leave extra time for this. Babies were never meant to be strapped into car seats - in fact, I would think it was creepy if my ds was compliant! I was the *same way* when I was little.

It could be that with all your good-intentioned tactics, your child now has very negative associations with the car seat beyond what they were before (just not liking to be in it.) Could you try to get in the car only when you are relaxed, try distraction or tickling, and lots of empathy? Do you offer snacks or fun music while in the car? Or sing fun songs or roll the windows up and down or whatever, to create a more fun time in the car?

I truly believe that children were not meant to be forced to do *anything*, and when I start to get really frustrated with ds, I have to remind myself that it is not *his* fault that cars were invented! It is perfectly natural for him to resist. Also, I have *always* pulled over when he cries - so he does not feel like my strapping him in is some kind of abandonment. Gradually this has gotten better and better. (Especially since turning him face-forward, as someone else mentioned.)

Does any of this help at all? I always think that the first order of business in such situations is to stop myself from getting angry at my child.

Here's a great link I just found, if you are feeling like you can't control your anger and/or resentment and/or impatience:

The Healing Gap
http://www.scottnoelle.com/parenting...es/healing-gap

Good Luck! I hope you figure something out!

MisfitMama
 

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I'm right there with you - my son is 16 months, and also hates being strapped in. Usually, once we're on our way, he settles down, but the initial 'putting on the seatbelt' is terriblely upsetting for him. I don't feel ready to turn him FF yet, so I'm hoping someone here has some ideas!

mama - I know how frustrating it can be when they're too young to understand the reason behind our actions.
 

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Some things that have worked to get my dd to let me put her in her carseat without complaining, which might or might not work for other toddlers:

-- have Daddy entertain and distract her by standing outside and banging on the back window and playing peekaboo with her
-- talk very sweetly and tenderly to her as I pick her up and put her in and fasten the straps, as if tucking her into the carseat were a special way of showing my love. (Talking that way helps me feel loving, too, instead of annoyed.)
-- offer some food for distraction as I put her in the seat
-- talk about where we're going
-- talk about other babies riding in carseats
 

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I wouldn't usually sya this but for the carseat I make exceptions. Have you considered bribing. The time it takes to eat 2 m7ms is just enough for a skilled mommy to get the seat buckled.

go for speed. If you have a complicated car seat, find something easier. Ours has a puzzle lock (what childless moron thought this up. the thing has drawn blood and takes forever to put together) but if she gave me any grief about getting in the carseat I would ditch it for the fastest easiest carseat I could find. And then I would start pumping the m&ms into her.
There is a reason God gave us candy coated chocolate
 

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Also if you can and you haven't, turn your baby around. My 3rd really hated her seat. In the middle of a 14 hour car trip (the first 3 hours she slept, the next 3 she screamed, then slept for 2 then screamed for 2 and we were ready to let her roam a while because we still had 4 to go) as an act of desperation we turned her around and the screming, the screaming that had plagued us for 12 months, the wretched screaming stopped. From then on out. done. So that is somehting to try if you haven't already. Not to mention it makes the getting buckled in so much easier.
 
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