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Here's an issue I haven't worked out. 19 weeks into my pregnancy I found out I was having twins. Before then I had shopped around for different hospitals or birth centers. But twins riskes you out of BCs and MWs in my area. In fact, it nearly guarantees a c/s. The books say twins have a c/s rate of 50%, but I think that's out of date. In my area the rate is 80%, according to one L/D nurse and a straw poll of my twin club.

Anyway, I found my way to a wonderful home birth. I fought off naysayers and ditched my OBs. My experience won over most of my family, who now think everyone should have a homebirth.

But what lingers and still makes me mad, is how much I had to fight to have a natural birth. I had to tell a lot of smart people (drs and friends) they were wrong. I feel like I did so to ransom my body, pay out of pocket to keep from being cut open unnecessarily. I feel like the c/s the OBs would have forced on me was medical rape. Which I avoided by lots of research, money and a supportive DH.

I'm still furious about the mis-information the OBs threw my way, kindly and not so kindly.

I know I should get over it and move on. Everything turned out well and I post wherever I can to spread the word and my experience. What more can I do. Will time lessen my anger?
 

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Yes, I think time will lesson your anger. My situation is a little different. For my second pregnancy I really had to fight for my VBAC. I went to several different doctors who either told me that I had to have a c/s or that they were putting a time limit on my labour (12 hours). None of the midwives in my area were accepting patients. I had to fight tooth and nail for my VBAC. My labour was long. It was over 60 hours of active labour and I really had to fight to stay out of the operating room. In the end I had my VBAC and even my doctor had tears in his eyes as he exclaimed "You did it!".

I was elated for a couple of weeks and then a sadness and anger set in. I was confused by my feelings thinking that I got what I wanted, why am I upset? Through talking a lot about the birth and writing in my journal (I know those seem like standard answers) I was able to work through some of my feelings. Some of the anger and sadness stuck with me though. It has faded over time. My DD is now 4 years old and I don't feel upset about her birth anymore. I'm expecting my third child in March and the only lingering thing about my last birth is that I'm terrified of another long labour! Any anger at the doctors or at my care regarding the VBAC is gone.

I know our situations are different but I think some of the emotions are the same. Hopefully these feelings will fade and you'll be able to just enjoy the memories of your accomplishment!
 

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I take feelings like you describe as a calling. I have such strong emotions and I am so angered and raged by the issue of circumcision ( male AND female) even though my hubby is intact and so are my boys. One wonders why the issue would matter so much to someone who wasn't directly affected by it- but it matters a LOT to me. So, I put effort into educating others and hopefully one day I'll be able to do a lot more. It helps me to "get the word out", kwim? And I think this would help you, too. Speak out, get involved, get yourself in a position where you can make a difference. This does wonders with reconciling your own personal frustrations and anger.
 
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