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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all: I have three little boys ages, 6, 5 and 2.5. My 14 year old neice may be moving inwith us. She has had rough life. She has been with my aunt who uses pot (in front of her), smokes, swears, dates many different men. Payje has had three different men she has called "daddy". As a baby she watched her biological dad beat my aunt. She has had no consistancy, and really raised herself. She is very independant. She talks like an adult. She swears, she's used pot, she doesn't smoke (thank goodness). I am not sure abot sex, but I do know she hangs out with a guy who is 18 and a girl who is 19.

OK, what do I do, what is appropriate for a 14 year old girl. How do I go from being fun aunt Seb, to responsible aunt Seb. What kind of boundries should I draw. Should I let her swear in front of me? WHat about curfews and hanging out with older kids? Is their a book to help with teens? Should I try and get her into therapy?

Thanks for any help.
Sebrina
 

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Hi Seb - I don't have much advice, but a lot of peaceful and calmness vibes for you - that is a huge undertaking.

About the swearing - do you want your little boys swearing? If they're anything like Boo is, they're virtual parrots right now and will pick up on any new and 'interesting' words. It's not something I'd want to hear out of my children, so it's not something we allow in our home (I've had to remind FIL and my mom several times not to curse in front of my kids).

Can you sit her down, all of you together (you, your DH, and your niece that is) and make up a list of house rules. Maybe if she is part of that process she'll be more likely to stick to the rules than if they seem just arbitrary or punative.

Good luck !
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Lea: We are going to do that. I think thats a great idea
So far she has been a really big help with the boys.
Seb
 

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That's great - extra help is always nice to have around.
Do the boys like having her there ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Oh ya, the boys love her. We have just sent out file over to Vietnam so we could be getting a referral for a child soon
It's going to get pretty busy over here. Ah well, no one ever said I don't like a challange.

How are you feeling btw? Hows this pregnancy going? What midwives are you going with?

Sebrina
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by sebrinaw
Oh ya, the boys love her. We have just sent out file over to Vietnam so we could be getting a referral for a child soon
It's going to get pretty busy over here. Ah well, no one ever said I don't like a challange.

How are you feeling btw? Hows this pregnancy going? What midwives are you going with?

Sebrina
Durham again - they're close and they know me.

I'm doing okay - the early part of this pregnancy was rough on us though - I spotted until I was 10 weeks, no movement until just this past week (20 weeks) - kind of nerve wracking. Heather is frustrated with the lack of milk though. (She'll be 2 next month - time just flies by !)

How long does it take to go from referal to babe in arms ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well my agency says about 6 months for a referral and about 4-8 weeks after that to travel. But we are requesting special needs and we are hoping that the referral will be a bit quikcer. I am thinking she'll be home by Christmas

Sebrina
 

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That would be wonderful - what a special Christmas for your family.

Will you all be travelling, or do you know yet how that happens ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hi there: I will be travelling alone and Mike will stay with the kids. My mom may travel with me which would be really helpful. I am really excited!!!! It's very different from being pregnant but all that expectation and build-up of excitment is here. I already love her if that makes sense


I'm so glad the pregnancy is going along better now. It's funny, third babies always throw you for a loop. I remember my midwives saying that. Zander was different from the rest from start to now. Both Ryan and Jayden came early and so I expected Zander to as well, but no, he hung until my due date. Then my labour lasted longer than the others (although I preferred it that way). Even during my pregnancy I was soooo much sicker than with the others. Of course you know he was born with Micropthalmia and even his presonality is different. He is much easier than the other two.

We should get together, I am living in Whitby now. Do you know of any good parks with a splash pad?

Sebrina
 

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You can believe I want this labour to be longer than my last one. 90 minutes from start to finish is TOO fast. Then again - after Owen was born, I thought 3 1/2 hours was too fast - somehow now it seems like it would be just right.
:

I'm actually trying to talk this babe into comine 8 days late. That is the date that works best and allows DH the longest time home with us before he has to go back to work.

As for a personality difference - something a little calmer and less dare-devil-ish would be nice, but I'm not counting on that happening.

The only splash pads I can think of are Rotary Park (at Brock & Burns), and another that is down at the beach - we don't go to them much though, as neither of my kids like them. They much prefer to just hang out in our little inflatable pool. They would love a wading pool, but they don't have public ones anymore.

Email me - I'd love to get together some time, and I know the kids would have a blast with other kids to play with.
 
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