[HikeMama]

HI- I need some help gauging what is a normal 15 mo behavior and what I should be working to correct.

When my daughter does something I don't want her to do, namely, touch the garbage can and the toilet which are conveniently right next to the bathtub and the potty (and can't really be moved), I try to say "honey, we don't touch the toilet but you can play with your cup" or "Let's not brush the toilet seat, let's brush our teeth" and sometimes "No, we brush our teeth with our toothbrush, not the garbage can"... Anyway, once I try to move her hand she just wants to do it more! If I try to remove her or the toothbrush from the situation, she flails, growls, and basically has a fit. Is this an okay reaction or am I doing something wrong? Does she have any idea that I'm offering an alternative or at this age does she just know I'm telling her no?

Should I or should I not take her toothbrush away when I've told her not to brush the garbage can and she tries to do it again? Or the crayon that she tries to eat?

So anyway, what should I expect for 15 month old behaviors and what can I do to avoid flared tempers? Thanks for your help!

 

[bubbamummy]

All I can say is that my 14month old son does the exact same thing!

 

[The4OfUs]

I think you're handling it fine. You can validate her anger, "You really want to do that, you're mad!" and then keep redirecting her to a more appropriate activity, with a brief reminder why the other activity isn't OK. Her reaction is totally normal, and you're handling it in an age appropriate manner

. If you can't redirect her easily, I'd take the item and her away from the situation for a change of scenery and get her involved in something else she likes to do ASAP.

 

[doula jbw]

Totally normal and you are doing a good job. I feel like I spend all day keeping my 14 mo old from eating crayons, styrofoam, foil and out of the garbadge cans and toilets. On top of that I can't get him to eat regular food or play with age appropriate toys.............I have some older ones though so I know it will pass

 

[doula jbw]

Sophie - my 14 month old is a "Samuel" too!

 

[Tjej]

Very normal. My DS is that age and he does the same sorts of stuff. I find that I hold him up by the mirror so he can watch himself during teeth brushing - that helps keep him from cleaning the toilet with his.

It's hard. They do get it eventually. The more you can avoid those conflict situations (when you know they exist), the better for the time being. You will be repeating yourself ad nauseum.

Tjej

 

[PreggieUBA2C]

Yes, very normal, and add the smile and giggle to it as well.

I would change the place you brush for this time. Maybe brush in the hallway with a bowl of water instead? Make a new ritual that engages her so that she isn't looking for novel ways to engage herself with the activity she already knows. PP's idea to have her stand on the counter in front of the mirror is a great idea, imo, and I would do that first before changing locations. We did this for years for clean-up time. Then the jump into our arms following.

I find the best thing for our boys has (and currently is especially with our 17 month old) been joining the game. A smile with the slow approach to sticking a marker into the mouth is met with a quick run and swooping up, while tickling and while he's laughing, I can usually take the marker, but I prefer to tell him that it's for drawing and not eating. Then I ask if he would like to draw with it. If he smiles and starts to bring it to his mouth again, sometimes I take it gently and explain. Other times, I do more silly things like covering his mouth and then I continue to playfully thwart his attempts at using the object for ingestion or self-decoration. I really prefer this, but admittedly, with four boys close in age, I don't very often have the time and space to continue this until he's really done. I have though, and he's happy to relinquish an object whose uses have been exhausted.

Play and explanation is how we deal with it. The less conflict there is, the sooner it passes, it seems. We've learned this at the expense of some of ds1's childhood, but figured it out in time for him to enjoy this exploration too.

Sometimes, like with food-dropping, it's so much better to just let it go on without incident because they just want to know, reeeeaaallly know, what will happen. If you introduce a rule, then there's more to process and they'll still be driven to find out everything they would have without the rule.

For example, with ds1, dh had a no-food-dropping rule and continuously insisted that ds1 not do so. After two months of this, I finally said 'let him do it, already. He's not able to stop until he knows what you know about it- which is why you even have the idea that you don't want it to happen routinely. He doesn't know that, and he won't figure it out without doing it'.

Then within a week of being completely fine with it, ds1 was done.

The rest of our boys finished this stage within the first week of exploration. After 21 or so meals, they understood what they needed and started eating the food instead.

Obviously there is so much variation. I might give dc a cleaning brush, too- too big to put in her mouth, though. You don't want the problem in reverse! Also, when our boys were touching the toilet with face cloths or hair brushes before bed, I used to just go in before bedtime and clean it thoroughly so that if they touched it, I wouldn't have an OCD crisis.

 

[TopHat]

The food dropping conversation reminded me of something. I have a friend who doesn't let her son (16 months) drop his food. She is always saying, "No, no, no, no" which I think is too much. I haven't spoken really spoken to her about it, since, well, not my kid, but I did work the idea, "I don't think my DD will have the sudden urge to drop her food off her plate when she's on a date at 19 because I didn't stop her when she's 1" into a conversation. A lot of things are like that: they'll just pass.

 

[doublyblessed]

i hold my ds when he "brushes" and also i brush his teeth. he is almost 17 mos... so that makes brushing time easier...

when he goes to stick his hands in the toilet bowl water i just say ah ah ah!! if i can't get to him fast enough to stop him but usually i have the door locked w/ one of those latch kid proof lock things...our sick area isn't in where the toilet/tub are...separate doors. we have latches on almost everything now!!! i now need a stove guard... actually if he has found something of his sisters (usually hers) that is too small he will make a coughing noise and/or look at me to see if i notice...he knows i keep him safe...he's so sweet.

really i just redirect. i find another object and give it to him w/ a wow! look on my face......he loves new objects or things he has liked or hasn't seen for a while...

when he does get upset (like if 6.5yo sister takes something from him...grrr...or i must take something if its unsafe for him...) i just go and hold him and/or give him something else. he's usually ok w/ that.

he really doesn't understand all of what i'm saying yet. he says mama and meghan (sis) and dogga dogga for dog and booka booka for book (just like his sis did at this age...so cute!) and something that sounds like kitty cat but mainly its dugga dugga lately.

i wouldn't bother w/ hearty explanations...........just redirect until he truly gets what you are saying. and make it fun rather than make him feel he did something 'bad' or 'wrong'.

 

[HikeMama]

Thanks everybody! My first move will be to brush teeth elsewhere! Thanks for the encouragement as well!