Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
253 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Lately I've noticed that my 15 mo dd will wait until I'm looking at her and then do something she knows she's not supposed to do. Then laughs her butt off. Or she loves to wave her finger back and forth and say, "no no no!" while laughing and then touch the light socket or tear the leaves off my MIL's potted plant or whatever. So far I just redirect and that works fine but it's occurred to me lately that it works TOO well. There's usually no screams or tears or any kind of being upset at all; she is just trying to let me know that she knows she's not supposed to do something but she has the ability do it anyway. Does that make sense?<br><br>
I'm not sure how to react to this...on the one hand I don't want to crush her spirit (she's such a joy, loves to laugh, smart as a whip) but on the other hand I'm afraid for what I'm in for. Her older brother at this age listened to everything I said--seriously he didn't disobey me until he was at least two--I realize now what a miracle this was and I'm not expecting a repeat but I don't want to have my dd running out into the street a year from now just because I told her not to, you know? Should I be stern with her so she knows I'm serious? Laugh with her and shake my head? Tell her every single time, "yes I know you CAN do that but I need to keep you safe so we're going in the other room now..."?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
She's simply too young to resist the impulse to so something fun- in this case both the activity itself and getting your reaction.<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,868 Posts
You don't need to do anything differently. She's exploring and challenging, that's all. Don't unnecessarily give it a negative connotation by calling it 'disobey' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,517 Posts
The great news is that she's learning to communicate well enough to understand what you don't want her to touch. The other great news is that she is an exploratory type who doesn't get easily distracted.<br><br>
The bad news is she doesn't have the impulse control yet and won't start to develop it for a long time. :)<br><br>
I too wouldn't use the word "disobey" here. I think in order to obey, kids have to be ABLE to and I just don't think a 15 mo old can. I do think all the repetition will help.<br><br>
My son is 20 months and still can't, but is getting better. He is a climber and used to climb up the oven door onto the stove <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: . We put a lock on it and watched him as carefully as possible (and ALWAYS were right there if it was on). I was so worried about that thing of his that I even lost it and yelled a few times; we bought a climber for him, and everything. But sure enough one day he went to climb it, and before I could get across the kitchen, the lock on the door snapped, and the oven door swung down and he had a very scary ride. This was a case where I wish we could have avoided the natural consequences but fortunately he wasn't injured.<br><br>
His memory of that lasted about 3 weeks and then he started approaching it again. If a huge fall like that couldn't dissuade him entirely, there is no way I can, although it helped in that when he forgets and starts to pull on the door handle I can remind him and he doesn't have to be physically removed.<br><br>
I figure his persistence and willingness to keep trying will serve him well in some future pursuits, but meanwhile it is a pain! Hang in there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,218 Posts
I read somewhere (although I can't remember where <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">), that young kids like to do this kind of stuff to see if you'll be consistent. For example, "Mommy told me not to touch the outlets yesterday. Will she say the same thing today?" Providing a consistent response is reassuring to them, and makes their world feel predictable.<br><br>
I try to remain as emotionless as possible. I don't get mad (usually <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">), but I don't laugh either. I just gently remind her that she's not supposed to do X, and then we go on with our business. The only time it gets more heated is if it's something I truly think is dangerous (e.g., she likes to stand on our kitchen chairs and climb the backs -- which will make them top-heavy, and very likely fall backwards and result in a face-plant on our ceramic tile floor from about 4 feet up). I will sometimes get a warning tone in my voice, despite my best effort not to. If she doesn't stop after a few warnings, I remind her again, and then say she has to get down from the chair (and I physically remove her).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
745 Posts
She's just double checking to see if you say the same thing the 4th time she does something as you do the tenth time she does something. She's testing boundaries and your reactions and the world around her. She wants to see what's predictable. She also just can't help herself, it's too fun to do stuff especially if it's stuff that grownups do.<br><br>
It's also really fun for her to see you make different facial expressions.<br><br>
Keep redirecting or find a similar substitute for the forbidden activity.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
253 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for all your responses--you're right, "disobey" is a bit strong of a word here I was just in a hurry and couldn't think of another way to say it! I'll just keep redirecting and try not to make such funny faces as I do it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top