please somebody! give me hope. im serious. i cant imagine another year of this!!!! ada's mommy, my ds is 16 m and never ever even comes close to sleeping through the night. actually once he only woke up once, but that was probably 8 months ago. he generally nurses 4-6 times a night. sometimes he only nurses once, but that is because it is an 8 hour nursing session. it would be funny if it didnt totally suck!
I am still waiting. My DS, 15 months this week, always wakes around midnight to nurse. He just can't seem to make it to the morning. And then if he sleeps through the midnight nursing...I say-yeah...he will sleep through the night! But, oh no, he wakes up at 2am (even worse). I just try to go with the flow because he really seems to need it.
My 15 month old went through a phase for about the last 3 weeks where he was sleeping all night .... then I went and mentioned it to DH and *poof* that night he woke up!
I guess it's still a work in progress. I just try to give him what he needs at night, just like I do in the day. If it's a bunch of times though...maybe try to help him get back to sleep with minimal hlep from you....maybe a lovey...I dunno. My son is in his own bed now so I guess it might be very different if cosleeping!
At the risk of sounding smug, my ds is 16 mo and he sleeps 9 hours straight. I have to admit though, I'm sure there must be a nursing in there somewhere. I'm just such a hard sleeper I nurse him without fully waking. He also wakes up at 5:45 AM for the day, so I'm feeling a bit ragged too.
I'm told by friends of mine who had sleep issues that the most important thing you can do to encourage your baby to sleep well at night is to not let them get over tired. For some reason the more worn out they get, the harder it is for them to relax. One of my friends is millitant about naps being on schedule. She will absolutely, under no circumstances, stretch her children at nap time because that would ruin her whole night.
You might try staying home more over the next few weeks and trying to encourage naps before your dd gets obviously tired. Just a thought.
Mine just hit 16 months and usually one of them will sleep all night. :: crossing fingers & knocking wood :: Last night both of them did (well, my son woke up & bounced in his crib for a minute & went back to sleep w/out crying).
At 8 months I started transitioning them into cribs, per request of Hubby who wanted to get back into our bed. We'd bring them into our bed when they woke up, usually 3-5 hours after going down (eventually we got a bigger bed to hold all 4 of us!).
Now my son goes to sleep on his own as I'm rocking his sister - I still give them both bottles at naps & bedtime. He still wakes up once, she sleeps through.
But I'm not assuming we're out of the woods here - a few months ago they went through a spell where both slept well, but it didn't last. I think the 1-yr molars kicked in.
Both of my kids are on lots o' formula & eating solids.
DD is 21 months old and has been sleeping through the night for about 2 months now. Prior to her very casual night weaning, she was waking about 2 hours after going to bed and about 2x in the night. She would also wake up at 4:30am, want to nurse and then...GET UP! Now she goes to bed around 8:30/9pm and gets up at 6am like clockwork. I don't know if she would have night weaning had I not encouraged her to do so (by talking to her about it- in my first trimester- I had a really tough time waking in the night to nurse her on my very sore breasts...) but I really feel like she was ready to night wean (especially since we had no regression). I think the talking to her about it and not forcing the issue (I planned on doing Dr. Gordon's 10 night plan but she ended up night weaning before I even started it!) really helped her to decide if she was ready and thankfully- she was! I certainly know I was ready...it's going to be so much harder to nurse a newborn and night nurse again in a few months but I'll take the little bit of time I have anyway!
From 8 to 13 months DS was waking every 2-3 hours for anywhere between 30 minutes to sometimes 2.5 hours. That was with nursing, rocking, singing, you name it. I was stretched so thin and was so exhausted that I am surprised I didn't up and leave DH with DS. DH was so exhausted that he had some near accidents driving to work.
DS was already in his own room - one of the rare babies who slept better alone
. This was helpful as I noticed whenever we did co-sleep (on trips) he slept more restlessly because he wanted his (.)(.) for comfort sucking. He no longer needed the nighttime feedings - he'd pop off within 30 seconds or he would just comfort suck - so I felt comfortable with weaning that(those) session(s).
The big ticket was having a more structured nap schedule. If he went for too long before napping, he'd nap less, be more tired, slept bad at night, wake up tired, can't nap... the cycle never ended. So I dedicated my LIFE around DS's naps and he's been sleeping though since 13 months.
When he was on a 2 nap schedule, he would wake around 7:00am, nap 10am for 1-1.5 hours, nap again 1:30-2:00pm for 1-1.5 hours, bedtime at 6:30-7:00pm.
Now he's taking 1 nap: wake up at 6:30am, nap 11:30-12pm for 2-3 hours, bedtime at 7:30-8pm.
He's sleeping SO beautifully even I am surprised (I haven't forgotten the sheer [email protected] we went through). When he's not sleeping then I know there's something wrong. My friends all roll their eyes at my "sacrificing my life" to his schedule but I don't mind missing out on lunches and playdates if it means my son has the sleep he needs. He obviously needs it.
So there is hope! Just keep trying different things. A friend of mine ended up doing Ferber on her son at 15 months. Took 10 days but now he's sleeping through too.
"Just keep trying different things. A friend of mine ended up doing Ferber on her son at 15 months. Took 10 days but now he's sleeping through too."
Are you suggesting Ferber JavaBean!?! 10 minutes of Ferber -- let alone 10 days of it -- is a cruel thing to do, whatever the results!
Simon wakes up still at 14 months but it doesn't bother me. If he's going to nurse for a long time, I'll have a book with a nightlight so that I don't get bored. He hasn't been nursing for too long lately, but he has a tiny belly and a brain that needs lots of fat and nourishment to continue developing. I wouldn't push nightweaning if the baby is waking up hungry. I actually wouldn't push it unless I was sleep deprived because of it.
Oh no, no, I'm not advocating Ferber. I was saying try different things like a more structured nap schedule, perhaps sleeping alone vs cosleeping, nighttime weaning if you know for sure your DC doesn't need it. Those were what I did and it worked for me. I only mentioned Ferber because that was something that worked for a friend.
There were nights where I had to let DS cry. I HAD to. I was so frustrated and tired and angry. DS obviously didn't like crying (neither did we) but it was better for all of us if I let him cry than if I went in there in the state I was in. It got to a point where I understood Shaken Baby Syndrome. And it was scary. I never want to go there again. I remember hearing in my head a line from a documentary I saw on SBS: "Crying, even excessive crying, won't kill a baby. But shaking it in anger, no matter how unintentional or 'gentle' the shaking is, will."
My friend is one of the most earthly, loving, pro-attachment parenting person I know. She's the only person I know IRL who's still nursing (her DS is 21 months). She was racked with guilt for having to resort to Ferber but she felt she was at That Point.
Anyway, I hope I didn't start a debate for even mentioning Ferber. I think she did a very modified form of Ferber - cry for 10 minutes, pat for 5 and she never went longer than 10 minutes for each crying session. She said that Christopther would cry up until she walked back in his room then he'd stop and lay back down. She said he just wanted her to look at him sleep.
It seems to me that there are two different kinds of nightwaking being discussed here: waking and going right back to sleep (through nursing or whatever) and waking and having a hard time going back to sleep. Personally, I think if a child that young is waking and going right back to sleep, that's totally normal for the age. LIke I said, my own ds is almost 3 and often wakes up once a night, but it's hardly an interruption. He's in his own bed, but if we hear him call out, we just go get him and bring him in with us. Awhile back there was an informal poll here at mdc about how old people's children were when they slept through the night, and if I remember right, most people reported that it was at about 22 months.
Everyone wakes up several times a night, adults and kids, and babies. The difference is that adults (most, at least) are able to put themselves back to sleep without fully waking. This is definitely my nightwaker's issue... she wakes several times but she is used to being boobed back to sleep so if it's not right there she cried out until it shows up.
We also just absolutely hit the wall at about 12 months - so sleep-deprived that neither of us could function. You've all BTDT, right? And "cry it out" just wasn't an option for us, no matter how tired we were.
I finally bought No Cry Sleep Solution to see if someone had any help for us. I felt mostly encouraged by the book that we were doing a lot of things right (regular nap time, early bed time, consistent bedtime ritual.) One thing we changed was not nursing our daughter to sleep. (We use formula, BTW, but I think this applies either way.) We have a cuddly feeding on the couch, and before she falls asleep, we move into the glider into her room and rock to sleep there. She did not like this at first, but over time, I think this has really made a difference with her being able to go back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing - she is now often able to resettle herself without help from one of us. We do still get up with her once a night to nurse because she's hungry, but 1x a night is a piece of cake compared to the 3 or 4 times we were doing (and sometimes we were awake for an hour at a time!) Lately, she's started waking at 11:30 pm, having her bottle, and then sleeping through until 6:30 or 7. Heaven. I feel like a human being again.