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I've been using my old standard excuse of teething, but R has gotten more and more cranky this past week with no apparent reason that I can figure out. I was in the hospital 4.5 days, but she was with my husband the entire time and he's been as equal a caregiver for her since Day 1. I've been home 5 days now too, so I thought if it were that things would be improving.<br><br>
R knows how to communicate very well for her age, she can ask for drink, food, diaper changes, playtime, reading time, and can tell us when she has an "ouch." This past week though, she's isn't communicating her needs and has resorted to sobbing until she's red and gasping. Holding her doesn't work, she just climbs down and talking her through everything doesn't work either. She will go on for 15-20 minutes at a time. I would be lying if I said it wasn't wearing on our patience.<br><br>
I hate to say she's having temper tantrums because I feel there has to be something more going on, but her diet or sleep patterns haven't changed.<br><br>
Generally, after trying to calm her for a few minutes and trying to talk her through what she might want we've started carrying her to her room and sitting on the floor with her. "Please use your words, I understand you are upset but I don't understand what you need. Mommy/Daddy is right here for you when you are ready to talk." It takes her a good while to usually ask for water, but I never feel like that's the root of the problem... just what she needs after sobbing so hard for so long. After a drink she generally goes back to normal, if not a tiny bit whiny.<br><br>
It's breaking my heart, but I can't see what else we could or should be doing. Any ideas? Is this just normal 16 month old stuff?
 

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We are going through similar stuff...though Angelo is not very verbal.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I hope we both find the answers we need. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My DS is also 16 mos, and also has recently started the uncontrollable screaming and crying. It's usually directly tied to some frustration - he can't play with the tv remote, throw food at the dog, etc. Our old standby of distraction is not working at all - I think he's old enough to be stubborn, lol. I remember going through this with my DD, too, and I think it's just a normal developmental stage you just have to wait out. They have such strong emotions at this age, and no other way to communicate them except by crying, so that's what happens. What we do is just sit on the floor next to him (he pitches right out of our arms, so we put him on the floor to keep him safe), occasionally pat his back or leg, and tell him soothingly, "I'm sorry you're so upset. I'll be right here when you're finished." Usually within a couple of minutes he crawls over to us for a restorative snuggle, and then we can move on to something else.<br><br>
In your case, since you were just gone to 5 days, she may really still be working out some anger or worry about the separation. As good as daddies can be, they just aren't as wonderful as mommies at this age! (My DH is a sahd, I'm a wohm, and it doesn't matter that he is with them all the time - they prefer me, and that's normal.) You might try just holding her, if she'll let you, and letting her work it all out with screaming and crying. Tell her how sorry you are that you had to leave, how much you missed her, validate how angry and scared she may be feeling, and give yourself permission to sit with her until she has cried all those feelings out. That might help a bit.<br><br>
Otherwise, I think it's just normal behavior for this age. HTH!
 

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I went away overnight one weekday. My ds 21 months was agery with me for almost the whole day that I got back. He is also prone to crying fits when he cannot get his way.I tell him that mommy will hold you if you want but blank is not safe for you. There has been times when he screamed himself to sleep.Your dc probable missed you .<br>
Susan
 

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You don't say why you were in the hospital, but 4 days is a long time to a 16 month old. She picked up on the worry of your family. She can't explain her worry, her frustrations, her sorrow of missing her mamma. She's pretty verbal for a 16 month old, but not that verbal! Heck, 30-somethings are not always that verbal. So cut her some slack. It's okay if she has tantrums; it's normal and you are not a bad parent. Just don't give in to the tantrums if it is a big issue for you. Little things you can sometimes give in to. Not the big ones. So what is she screams? Don't leave, but don't feel guilty either. I know it is wearing. It is hard on her too. She just needs to know that you will be there for her. Take her out for some special time with Mommy. Have a cuddle time with lots of books. And if you are nursing, don't try to wean now! Give her lots of nursings, playtimes in the park, outings, etc. She will calm down eventually. Remember, you are the grown-up! It's within you to act calm, wise, and loving. She is a baby. She is supposed to act like a baby.
 
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