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short of biting him back (i would NEVER!!), how do i get him to stop? i literally have to hold his head back in order to get him off of me. he will bite me and laugh. i try not to react - doesn't work. i sit him in a chair and try to tell him no, that hurts - he laughs. i have flipped out on him (yelling, i reacted!) and he laughs! nothing fazes this kid! i wouldn't be so worried but he bites the kids at his babysitters. he has left teeth marks in other people's children. i can't have him do that. the babysitter sits him in time out, then tells him to go apologize, which he does. but then he'll bite again.

i don't know how to make him stop!
 

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Subbing to this one. I have a 16.5 month old who hits and reacts like your DS. I am also at wits end.
 

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I'm having a similar problem with my 17 MO DD. She bites pretty frequently when she's teething. Thankfully for everyone else, I am her usual target but it's painful because she bites really HARD. I am not sure if this is "GD Approved" but I react in the same way as if she bites while nursing. Rather than yanking her off and really hurting myself in the process, I pull her in so she cannot breathe and has to let go. Then I give her something that's acceptable to chew on "Mommy is not for biting, you may chew on this". Sometimes she really hurts me and I let out a loud "OUCH" or I move her away from me to find a moment to cool down so I always give her lots of attention to reconnect and make sure that she knows I am not angry with her. Anyway, she generally gets the message after a couple of tries but this process is repeated every time she's having a rough teething day. If anyone has any other suggestions, I am all ears.

Kristy
 

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IMO, the most effective thing is prevention. So whenever you see him coming at you, quickly distract him.

If you can't, or miss it, and he does bite you, what has always worked for me is to be AS GRAVE AND SERIOUS as possible, get right down close to them, and tell them, "Do not bite me!" in the firmest, most no-nonsense voice you can muster with a facial expression to match. Maybe throw in a "that hurts" or something, but keep it simple and serious, w/out threats or additional explaining. Some MDC moms might not like this, as my kids have almost always cried when I did this, but I want my kids to know how to be serious when they tell someone not to hurt them, and the best way to learn that seems to be through modeling.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by natensarah View Post
If you can't, or miss it, and he does bite you, what has always worked for me is to be AS GRAVE AND SERIOUS as possible, get right down close to them, and tell them, "Do not bite me!" in the firmest, most no-nonsense voice you can muster with a facial expression to match. Maybe throw in a "that hurts" or something, but keep it simple and serious, w/out threats or additional explaining. Some MDC moms might not like this, as my kids have almost always cried when I did this, but I want my kids to know how to be serious when they tell someone not to hurt them, and the best way to learn that seems to be through modeling.

Sadly, my daughter giggles when I get serious. I have no idea why, maybe it's because she usually only sees me being stern with the dog.

Kristy
 

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Had the same problem with my son. He knows it hurts and it's a "no no" and is sorry. We've done time-outs, read "Teeth are not for Biting" (good book by the way!) and another I can't think of right now. We finally had to switch daycares. He was getting so wound up during the day that he would act out. 1 day at the new daycare and I had my baby back! In the past few months, at the end of a day of daycare he was just exhausted and frustrated and mad and acting out. Weekends and days home with me (rare) he's lovely and calm and sweet and caring. Only bit on those week nights when he was so wound up. NOTHING worked except when the daycare lady kept him next to her all day--coincidently in a calmer setting away from the wild older kids. The new daycare was more structured and supervised and she rotatated the toddlers from area to area. Keeping them on their own and then interacting with the older kids for a while, and then back on their own. Rather than throwing everyone in a playroom--resulted in bullying (I saw it myself) and lots of wild yelling and throwing things. We've been in a new setting for 2 weeks and it's night and day different. Not a single act of aggression with other kids. He's happy and pleasant in the evenings. If he gets too wound up, he might try to bite at home, but I can see it coming (rough-housing is a big trigger for him) and we change activities to something calmer.

Believe me...I understand the feeling of helplessness. We got three weeks' notice at our old place right as I was in process of finding a new situation. Losing control of that time-line threw me down to a really hard place. And then tip-toeing around for the remaining three weeks while knowing he was in the wrong environment--I was crushed and depressed and felt just awful. Our very first day at the new place was a breath of fresh air. They knew all about his biting and were proactive in watching for triggers. And it's never been an issue!

This is all very fresh for me since it was such a recent change. But we were dealing with the aggressive biting since probably 14 months old. I can't think of how many people said "it's just a phase" "do time-outs" and a few that said to bite him back (uh, no) but there is such a feeling of helplessness that comes with it. Unfortunately I have no advice for you except perhaps to examine the triggers. In our situation, a change of environment did the trick. But changing providers isn't always an option I know. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I know it would have helped me emotionally in the past months to hear more about people currently in the middle of the problem rather than people that just said it's a phase and their kids grew out of it. Good luck and hang in there.
 
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