Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 20 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
5,081 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The boys in my DH's family have a history of "I have to do it my way" mentality. Honestly, it's one of the things I love about my DH (and he takes my thoughts into consideration more now that we're married
)

We're living with my in-laws right now (money issues) and his 16yo youngest brother is still at home....and driving me up the wall.

He won't take ANYTHING I say into consideration. For example: He got bitten on the face by a spider and it swelled. (He also picked at it and it got infected) Yesterday, when he complained about the pain I asked if he'd taken anything (yes) and told him to put ice on it. I got, "Ice doesn't work for me" in reply...and then more complaining about pain. The next time I said, "Try putting ice on it." He said, "Ice didnt' help when it happened to my leg." (spiders love him) AND CONTINUED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING IN PAIN. After a while I got frustrated and snapped at him.
I've also been saying ALL DAY "Wash your hands constantly and don't touch your face at all if you can help it" and I get comments like "but I'm not touching the actual bite" or whatever.

Maybe I just did things differently when I was a teen...but it's really starting to get on my nerves. I feel like he's treating me like I don't know anything. It kind of hurts my hormone fueled feelings...
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
lol, he sounds like my son. knows everything - can't tell him a thing! i have quit trying


I tell him once what i suggest then thats it ... if he wants to whine and complain i just give him a hug or a pat in sympathy ... because that is all i can figure he is looking for at that point.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,206 Posts
My HUSBAND can be that way sometimes. :eyeroll: I've learned to ask the basic questions: did you take xxx, put ice on, etc? When he inevitably says no the next question is "do you intend to do anything about your pain?" When he (again inevitably) says no the only response I can offer is "sorry, if you don't actually want to do anything to help it then you don't get to complain." Sounds harsh, I know, but with him it's really the only thing that stops the endless whinging about whatever it is. Oh, and sympathy and kindness and all that touchy-feely stuff is always good too.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by dancindoula View Post
Oh, and sympathy and kindness and all that touchy-feely stuff is always good too.

lol ... you know i used to get so irritated when people would not follow my advice and then complain .... but as i have grown to learn that what other people do is outside of my self (the four agreements and all that) I have become so much more relaxed about it ... he just wants some sympathy ... and that is ok ...
 

· Registered
Joined
·
9,303 Posts
I just tell people like that "If your not willing to try and make it better, then don't complain to me!"
 

· Registered
Joined
·
6,472 Posts
I wouldn't offer unsolicitied advice at all. I HATE unsolicited advice-- don't you? When people complain about something, usually they're looking for reassurance and compassion, not solutions. If they want solutions, they usually ask for that specifically.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
I just tell people like that "If your not willing to try and make it better, then don't complain to me!"
really? don't you ever just want to complain?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
9,303 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
really? don't you ever just want to complain?
Um... not not really. I only complain if somethings wrong and the person I'm complaining to is the one that can fix it. Otherwise there's no use. Particularly if the only person who can do something is the person complaining.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Um... not not really. I only complain if somethings wrong and the person I'm complaining to is the one that can fix it. Otherwise there's no use. Particularly if the only person who can do something is the person complaining.

Oh, because somtimes I just want somebody to give me a hug and let me know they care.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
9,303 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
Oh, because somtimes I just want somebody to give me a hug and let me know they care.
If that's all I want then that's what I say.
Works surprisingly well.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
If that's all I want then that's what I say.
Works surprisingly well.
You make a good point.. but sometimes when i am miserable, I don't quite know how to find the words
 

· Registered
Joined
·
11,576 Posts
I just noticed something, in your title you referenced his "strong will." That doesn't make sense unless you see yourself as an authority in his life, as someone who he is supposed to listen to and do what he is told. That just ain't so. He doesn't have any more reason to do what you tell him than I have to do as my sil's tell me.

let it go.
 
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top