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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 18 moth old girl is driving us nuts. She is whiny, demanding, she screams, is clingy, and I'm going out of my mind!<br><br>
If I need to do something (like working in the garden for 30 minutes today), she refuses to allow DH to watch her. She screamed and cried for the ENTIRE thirty minutes, and it makes us both very frustrated. I have never left her with a sitter, because I worry that she would cry the entire time. I mean, she can't even let her Papa watch her?? Even if I'm in the other room, she acts as if she is being tortured to be held by anyone else when she wants me. Other times she is very happy to play and be held by others, including DH.<br><br>
She says "no" all the time and I understand that's normal, but she is becoming a little tyrant. She will scream "NO" if I offer her a cracker, for heaven's sake!<br><br>
I just want my sweet baby back! I'm starting to have serious doubts about my parenting. I wonder if I really am "spoiling" her, as people speak about.<br><br>
In 18 months, I haven't even been able to have dinner out with my husband!!! I am beginning to resent her, because she seems so unappreciative of anything we do for her. My husband's answer is that she needs more stimulation... but I'm a full-time mom, an attachment parent, and we spend time outdoors, go to a playgroup, read books, etc.... How on earth do I stimulate her MORE? Is she "high-needs" or something? Has my parenting gone wrong? Do ALL toddlers become intolerable? If so, how long can expect my life to be 24/7 Living Hell??
 

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My DD is 19 mo and does the same thing...when she knows I'm around. You should try leaving completely (or at least making her think you are- like when you're gardening). Have DH take her somewhere else entirely.<br><br>
DH says that when I go out for the evening he gets more quality time with DD than when he cares for her when I am here. She relaxes, accepts that daddy is reading and playing, and even loves for him to put her to bed. He says that is the best daddy-time ever!<br><br>
I can't guarantee that leaving completely will work for your DD. But my DD sometimes puts on a show when she knows I'm close enough but is perfectly fine within seconds of my disappearance.<br><br>
You definitely need to try for your own sanity at this point! GL!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can relate! My DD is only 14 months but acts JUST like that alot. She's VERY clingy and screams in place of talking. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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not much advice, but wanted to let you know I could've written your post! Today was a very challenging day at our house, to say the least. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you.<br><br>
One thing that is working for us, is for Daddy to take DD for a walk in the stroller at the times I need to leave the house entirely or need to get something done like gardening (or posting on MDC!). Separation anxiety is at its peak for DD (18 months, too) and this is the only way I can leave the house or have some alone time. It's also a fun way for Daddy and toddler to have some quality time.
 

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Ds2 just turned 19 months, and I *definately* noticed a huge growth in his "neediness" once he hit 18 months. Seriously, we spend almost the entire day lately outside except for naptime. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
I've also noticed a huge change in the way ds2 relates to dh lately; he's all "mama mama mama."
 

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Whew! Me too!<br>
I have a 11/05 dd too, and I finally decided that the only way I could make dinner is to undress her, and have her clothes on the counter. Then when she comes near me, I act like I am going to put on her onesie - the only sure way to make her run away!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Seriously, though, I am feeling pretty frustrated myself, just like you, and all I can say is, this too will pass. (Just maybe not soon enough!!)<br>
See if your DH can do things with her that she loves to do, even with you in the room. Like, my DH will read her most favorite book, and we put it away, so that only he reads it to her. I am hoping that she will begin to enjoy Daddy time enough that I can weed or fix supper.<br>
Just one idea, and some sympathy!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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My DS just turned 18 months, and we have similar issues, especially at bedtime . . . if I am in the house. If I'm gone, though, he does just fine with daddy. I agree with the previous poster who suggested leaving the house completely (or pretending to). It may be rough at first, but if you can do it for small amounts of time at first, perhaps you will see a difference.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gingerstar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8229554"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Whew! Me too!<br>
I have a 11/05 dd too, and I finally decided that the only way I could make dinner is to undress her, and have her clothes on the counter. Then when she comes near me, I act like I am going to put on her onesie - the only sure way to make her run away!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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omg, that's such a good idea! My kitchen has been a mess, everytime I go to cook or clean my 18mo wants me to hold him. I should just bring his diapers and wipes in the kitchen next to me & act like I want to change him! Should give me a few minutes at least!!<br><br>
I've been gardening a lot with my son playing around me. I usually only get a small amout done at a time, but is adds up. It would be meditive to do it alone though!<br><br>
Through every stage there seems to be wonderful things and less-then wonderful things. I think the only way I've gotten through a few challenges was always reminding myself how temporary they are!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for the support, everyone. I agree that I need to just leave her at the house on occasion. She will meltdown when I leave, and that's hard (for me, just as much as her), but perhaps if she knows I am not there, she will decided to chill out and relax with her papa.<br><br>
She may be teething. She only has the last four molars to come in, and she has been chewing her fingers for three weeks... but still no teeth popping through.<br><br>
I'm trying to not let her whining work. If she whines during dinner, she whines in the highchair and has to wait until we finish eating. If she whines while I'm carrying laundry, she just has to cry and wait for me to get it to the laundry room. I cannot negotiate with a terrorist. lol<br><br>
Maybe today will be better (I say as I hear her screaming outside because her Papa has her right now). Poor Papa!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rmzbm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8228635"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can relate! My DD is only 14 months but acts JUST like that alot. She's VERY clingy and screams in place of talking. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
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Mine, too, except he's 15 months. Hugs mamma. I have had some of the same feelings as the OP.
 
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