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Can you have someone else feed her?
If she eats just fine for other people, maybe you should work on your approach. I would definitely stop force feeding. It is traumatizing. I understand you are terrified but this way of feeding has the opposite effect of what you want to accomplish.
 

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I wonder why they won't do a swallow test or anything? I guess they really don't see how bad it is at home. You could use cream and whey protein to bulk up the whole milk a bit without changing the flavor much. Maybe some strawberry blended in might meet her approval. If she branches out to juice you could get a juicer and make some fresh so it has nutrition left. Check around for local moms to donate some breastmilk.

You can put out a tray of different snacks within her reach and ignore it with regard to her eating it, not even offer or encourage her to eat it, snack from it yourself some, see if she gets curious. My pickiest eater (5 years) does like yogurt, fruit, and anything grains, my 18m old likes those things best too. My 18m likes to eat applesauce pouches on his own. Meanwhile I encourage meat and veggies but am happy with what I can get into them.

There's no such thing at 0 percentile or 100 percentile in comparison charts, that's been a relief to me since my middle son is on the bottom end too. They can't technically score below 1% or above 99% because of how those statistics work.
 

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That's an awesome idea of bulking the milk up with heavy cream !
 

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A couple more thoughts...

-Ditch the high chair ...sit the food out where she can get to it and eat when she wants.
- Go for fatty foods cream, butter, peanut butter, eggs, packets of carnation instant breakfast to mix in the milk. I personally would let her drink a lot more (whole) milk than 15 oz per day...I would also bulk it up with cream.

My kids love this whole milk yogurt. You can get it at walmart and it's thick so she can scoop it up and feed it to herself. http://www.greekgodsyogurt.com/24oz-products/honey-flavored/

-what about getting her her own cute plate/spoon/fork set ..like this
 

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Offering hugs!

My little ones refused all store bought baby/toddler foods. I don't know if you are making your own or purchasing foods, but I thought I would put that out there.
I, too, would put the high chair away for at least a month, and get completely different utensils, in case the sight and/or feel of these things are triggers for anxiety. ( for either of you)
It may be that your little one really just needs you to hold her and bottle feed her, starting first thing upon waking.
I got a lot of flack for feeding my picky eaters the narrow range of foods that they would eat. People said I should just let them go to bed hungry once or twice and they would realize they just needed to eat whatever was placed in front of them. I was never a picky eater so this was a whole new world for me, but I am so grateful I followed my instincts after those first couple of nights when my oldest actively chose to go to sleep so hungry that I could hear her tummy growling. After many years of eating an extremely narrow range of foods she is now a good cook and eats like she was raised a non-picky eater. Her younger sister seems to be on the same path.
My toddler refuses baby food. He also does not like sweet foods - no bananas or carrots. Apples only if they are whole and he can hold them himself. ( I cut the peel off of 1/3 and he gnaws on the peeled area). We recently learned that he likes salsa and non-sweet salad dressings. We are having a hard time adjusting to his palate after our picky eaters who only wanted sweet foods!

Have you tried avocado or full fat coconut milk?
 

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ACK. I would seek out a second or third opinion until it feels right. I would be uncomfortable stopping the bottles at this age. I would be very upset using the high chair or spoon feeding AT ALL in this situation. Often we allow our twins to just roam around their play space with food and eat at their leisure. Especially the pickier one. And it works beautifully. They've never liked being strapped down to anything. They don't use the high chair regularly. My advice it to try this with your baby and give her as many bottles as she wants. There is no harm in this, in my opinion. Mine are 16 months and get 2-3 bottles a day (depending on the day, since they don't like bottles at day care) and we'll continue this for the foreseeable future. We practice good oral hygiene and I'm happy with the research I've done on prolonged bottle feeding. If I were you, I'd give my child access to food, but not force it. Dry foods, whole pieces of bread, etc. Allow her to build trust with food again and form a good relationship with it. At this point, I don't think it much matters what she eats. Just that she does and thinks that it feels good and benefits her in some way.
 

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I got a lot of flack for feeding my picky eaters the narrow range of foods that they would eat. People said I should just let them go to bed hungry once or twice and they would realize they just needed to eat whatever was placed in front of them.
Besides being a hard line tactic, people don't understand truly picky eaters. 1. They can disregard hunger signals because their issues with food are that powerful and 2. Some children don't recognize hunger signals as being something to solve with food. That children will eat when they are hungry enough is a myth. It is a learned connection, that most kids do make in their early days of life, but some kids don't make that connection, usually if there is pain associated with feeding. To withhold food from this child would be pretty cruel. My daughter didn't make this connection until she was *4.5yo*. That's *years*, not *months*.

So, kudos for ignoring the hardliners and going with your instincts. ("Once or twice"--HA!)
 

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Ha indeed! It's so nice to know there are other parents out there feeling he same way I do. I didn't have access to this on line community back then. What I can say now is that I am so happy to see my picky eaters blossom into their own person. They still have their own issues - texture being a big one for one and low blood sugar issues with the other - but right now my oldest is cooking an onion zucchini carrot stir fry. She is excited because a friend showed her how to cook zucchini in a way that she likes. Awesome.
 

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Yes, it is possible that a child can never learn to chew and be on tube feedings for....well, basically forever. It is possible.

My daughter also is severely underweight (16 pounds at 20 months) and would refuse all food. Every time we would feed her purees or a small piece of table food, she would vomit. Yes, vomit. Vomit everything. Our house smelled like vomit. Our car smelled like vomit. Everything. We tried all the OT and SLP therapies involved in feeding therapy and it wasn't enough for our daughter (she is our third child and our other child have no problems in this area at all). She was later diagnosed as having a functional problem (the inability to chew), along with a sensory problem (texture aversion), that led to a behavioral problem. We ended up choosing a behavioral feeding program and seeing them on an outpatient basis for many months. It was decided that attending their 2 month day treatment program was going to be best for her. And we did it. I moved to another state with my daughter (leaving my husband and 2 other children behind) to help her eat. She now chews and swallows food pretty consistently.

Does she have a joy for eating? No way. Does she like to eat? Not one bit. But we never gave up and we never allowed to regress her back to her bottles of milk (I pumped for 18 months). She is now 26 months and 20 pounds. You can do it. But sometimes you need more than a soft approach to it. I am speaking from experience.
 

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Thanks for posting this. I'm so frustrated. My son't in a slightly better place weight wise, but that's because I quit my job to work one on one with him. He only eats purees, will occasionally pick up food and eat it. We believe that it began as a result of silent reflux. I'm hanging in there, and am looking forward to an appointment we have with a different OT. The therapy we've been doing for 6 months requires that he watch TV shoe he eats. I hate this. I didn't want to expose him to TV at all until he was at lease 2. The OT and psychologist couldn't understand why I didn't want this. Now we've created a monster.
 

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Mama, I sent you a PM.
 
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